October 4, 2015 By
September 30, 2015 By
Satiricus had been upset for some time now, but he’d kept his mouth shut. It had to do with the “name and shame” programme of the Police. Every week, the police would release 6 pics of fellas – and they were all fellas – who were nabbed “driving under the influence”. And were subsequently convicted and fined.
What Satiricus was upset about was that week after week, all the fellas whose pics were spread across the papers were from BERBICE!!!! Now Satiricus didn’t have anything against Berbice or Berbicians. In fact some of his best friends were Berbicians. Even his favourite politicians Naga Man (now the Prime Moocher) and Rum Jhaat (now the Invisible Man) were from Berbice.
But as a born and bred Demerarian, Satiricus felt he had his honour – and the honour of Demerara where his navel string was buried – to uphold. And part and parcel of this honour – and any true-true Guyanese would tell you – was to be able to knock down a large without blinking. You could vomit your guts out afterwards – but you couldn’t blink. This accomplishment separated the men from the boys.
As he thought of the indignity of no Demararian making the “Macho Top Six Drinkers ” every week, he remembered how he and his buddies had taken their first drink at the age of 12 and became men. How things had changed. It wasn’t just a matter of just drinking and getting into fights or “behaving bad” – nowadays, to prove your manhood, you had to down the large and drive your car at blinding speed – while the road was filled with women and children. Not to mention other cars.
“And look who’s winning,” snorted Satiricus. He knew Berbicians had a head start because of Berbice leaders such as Naga Man and Rum Jhaat who had inspired the hit song “Rum Till ah die”!! He’d seen this coming. Even as those two worthies put away larges like they were coconut water, look what Satiricus’ Demerara-born leader Jagdesh was doing – DRINKNG NO LIKKER!
While it may be harsh, Jagdesh had to take some of the blame for not leading his countymen to top the DUI “top 6”. But all hope wasn’t lost. Somewhere out there would be someone from Demerara who “was born to be a drinker” and who would return Demerara to glory.
In the meantime under the leadership of Naga Man and Rum Jhaat, Berbice would rule the roost. Or the bar stool.
September 27, 2015 By