Dem want de “fat tax” get “slim”
February 21, 2012 By Leave a Comment
A professor from North America calling fuh a tax pun fatty foods fuh save people lives. He calling it a “fat tax”. He sehin that de “fat tax” money could help mek healthy food cheaper and advertise fuh healthy eating. It sound good, but when some hear “tax”; dem does balk. Some sehin that people must be free to eat what dem want and free to get fat! Fat people worried that de tax “stigmatising” dem because dem big. Dem want fuh know why “fine” people mustn’t pay tax. De “fat tax” supporters seh that no tax in de history of taxation is ever “fine”. That ended that argument.
With some one-third of de people in de states obese, de professor see that as good enough reason fuh introducing de “fat tax” so it can reduce risk of cancer, high blood pressure, strokes, and sleeping problems. But just like that one-third, dem big ones here meking noise about this new “fat tax”. What dem forget is that Guyana already gat an old fat tax because one-third of yuh pay does end up out yuh pocket leffing a “fine” salary! This local fat tax does wuk in de reverse. It does mek some can’t sleep and give dem high blood pressure when dem see how much dem can’t tek home!
Long now plenty here calling fuh this fat tax fuh get “slim” so that dem can buy more fatty food and other things. De professor thinking that if people here eat more fatty food, he could use that fuh “fatten” he “fat tax” case in de States since de problem gon be getting global. So he gon lobby fuh a “slimmer” tax here! People rushing fuh buy red carpet fuh welcome de professor. Dem even planning fuh have a float pun Mash day fuh advertise dem cause. With one-third of dem pay not theirs, cost fuh de float is a problem. Dem looking fuh a one-man float. Dem calling those famous fat men. De phones ringing out! Ting-a-ling-a-ling…Friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie!
No women allowed!
February 21, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Satiricus is baffled. What’s Fate Hard-ears’ problem? What exactly is this woman griping about the PNCEE and the APANU? She’s obviously spent too much time abroad and forgotten that a West Indian woman is supposed to know her place. And what is that place, you young whippersnappers may ask? Well to provide care and sustenance for her man, thank you. And ‘sustenance’ covers a whole lot of ground. Thank God even though the PNCEE is hiding its spots as “APANU”, Granger is carrying on in the grand tradition established by the founder-leader.
“Ai man! Is wuh de woman do dem?” Cyril was Kuldeep’s cousin visiting from lodge. He seemed perturbed. “All she want is wuk for de party.”
“She na waan fo wuk,” interrupted Cappo. “Come straight. She waan fo be leader!”
“An is wuh wrang wid duh?” Cyril was still riled up.
“What the arse, you mean? This is the PNC you talking about, boy!” Suresh jumped up. “They have traditions to keep up.”
“But wimmen always wukking for de party,” Cryil continued. “Ah read ‘bout Winifred Gaskin and dem other wimmen who brace Forbes in de beginning.”
“Ah hope yuh read careful. Dem ‘brace’ Forbes, ok? Not lead he!” Cappo sounded as if he had slammed a trump on the table.
“But check out at all de qualification dis Hard-ears woman get! Two masters, PhD and ah doan know wuh else!” Cyril continued. “Duh don’t count?”
“Like you don’t understand PNC culture, bai,” Hari butted in. “PNC is the upholder of the West Indian way of life.”
“Is not how many papers she gat. Is how many pickney she can mek!” Bungi was getting into the spirit.
“That’s right,” Suresh continued. “Make women leaders and that is the end of our way of life!”
“So how come Janet turn leader of PPP.” Cyril wasn’t giving up. “Tell me duh!”
“Ha! Yuh see how dem lose dem majority!” Cappo slapped the table in triumph. “Could be dat was de cause!”
“Ah doan believe y’all!” Cyril rolled his eyes. “So wha is gonna happen to Backa?”
“Lemme tell yuh something. Backa guh stay right at de back,” intoned Cappo. “Ah gon tek bet pan da!” She gat the right name for the position.
“Bai Cyril, you na see wha happen when the APANU put she up fuh Speaker?” Bungi leaned forward. “Deh drap she right away fuh Trat Man!”
“Even though Trot Man had cursed them out,” noted Suresh. “Men is the Boss in PNC!”
“And they drop that other nice lady, Reel, from the deputy speaker job, just to sweeten Backa,” Hari pointed out. “They play woman against woman and nobody noticed.”
“A hope you notice no other woman complain? PNC women know they place.” Suresh looked directly at Cyril.
“Well how ‘bout dat one from Bartica? She complain.” Cyril came right back.
“Bai, you na hear wha de party seh? She not only a woman, she fram de bush.” Cappo was chortling. “If PNCEE na gat time fuh town lady wid papers, you think deh gat time wid woman fram de bush?”
“Ah give up wid you bannas. And de PNCEE,” said Cyril, shaking his head.
“Once the PNCEE keep up we culture, boy,” Hari concluded with a smile. “Keep women in they place!”
De “mystery disease” roots might be here!
February 21, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Apparently a “mystery disease” affecting plenty in a part of Uganda. Doctors baffle and can’t find a cause. Children is de victims and de symptoms include mental disabilities. Fuh now, dem calling de illness de “nodding disease”. A similar mystery deh right here. It gat some people who, from dem action, does behave like children (no disrespect intended to de children) and look like dem symptomatic of “mentalness”. When dem gather, dem nod in agreement fuh waste away de progress de country mek. And this ain’t new. It start when a palm tree was “planted” over 50 years ago!
Even though de palm tree change “hands”, de state of “mentalness” continue. Some suh affected, dem get forgetful so that when dem speak, dem embarrassing dem self. De finance man who trying fuh be in Ashni “shadow”, meking accusation of lack of accountability. He “green” on de “edge” meking he sehin things fuh people laff. Ashni didn’t leff he down. He remind de “shadow” man that de practice of de government now getting audit every year and a report submitted to de House, never happen when de Palm Tree was (mis)ruling!
Ashni seh de “shadow” man and de Palm Tree party never had accountability even in dem shadows when dem was blocking de “sunlight” from de nation! Dem mek everything waste away meking de country bankrupt! Scientists seh wasting away is a symptom of de disease. Then, it was a waste of time asking fuh accountability. Now, is routine. Scientists here now convinced that this “mystery disease” might have it “roots” in de Palm Tree years back and was pass to Dictator “Idi” from Dictator “Forbsie”. Don’t be surprise if yuh see plenty foreign scientists around here! Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie!
No Country for Bitter Men
February 21, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Snubbed for sure
Khemraj Ramjattan, we have pointed out before, is a man fighting for relevance in the fast changing landscape of Guyana. But like the Dodo that could not adapt to the new environment, he is headed for extinction. Like most passé creatures, however, he refuses to accept he is a “has-been”. For politicians, this means that you are ignored by the movers and shakers.
Ramjattan is whingeing and moaning that he was snubbed by the president of the IDB who recently visited Guyana. Poor deluded nonentity! The IDB is the largest single funder of Guyana’s developmental thrust: right now it has some $250 billion invested in our country. It is about to make the decision that will make or break the Amaila Falls Hydro-Electric Project – the largest project ever contemplated for Guyana. So, you would think the president of the IDB would have a chat with those that it deems to be the “players” here, right?
You bet your bottom dollar! This tells you that the international players have concluded that Ramjattan is yesterday’s news – stale. Trotman has manoeuvred himself to be in the running for the leadership of PNC/APNU where his support has remigrated; Nagamootoo, who brought in the Berbice votes, has been snubbed and derided by Granger and APNU: the AFC is done with and done for!
Speculating aloud why the IDB chief didn’t acknowledge his existence, Ramjattan threatened to ask our foreign minister why he was not “allowed” to meet the man! Listen, little man, don’t descend into paranoia: you just don’t matter. Ramjattan may try to impress sugar workers by showing up in “shirt and tie” on the order line, but just as they are turned off by his bitterness against the PPP, the international financial institutions (IFIs) have signalled he is already off the radar. To be successful in politics, you must stand for something, not just be against something. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
Ignorance and bluster
Another “has-been” who’s flailing away trying to get some traction and recognition is Lincoln Lewis, head of that ‘paper’ entity – the TUC. Ironically, Lewis had first received recognition decades ago for exposing the TUC for the fraud it was – manufactured into a creature of the PNC. The irrelevance of Lewis can be gauged from the fact that as the head of ‘the largest trade union umbrella in Guyana’, the best he can muster at his picketing exercises are his buddies in bitterness – Kissoon and Benschop. Pathetic.
Lewis’ style is best characterised by “ignorance and bluster” – both of which were on display in the last few days. First came the bluster. He praised the opposition for nitpicking and denying the government’s request for supplementary spending on acknowledged projects like the preparation for the Speciality Hospital. OK – nothing new there – he’s with the opposition and this relationship trumps any concern for the well-being of his trade union members. Bitter man.
And, inevitably then came the ignorance: “The Parliament of this country has the responsibility of developing and approving programmes based on the vision of the citizens, and the executive has the responsibility to carry out these programmes.” Really?! Go re-read your first form social study text book Lewis; it’s the executive that formulates the programme for developing the country. Read that S-L-O-W-L-Y now!
Hick bitterness
Addressing President Ramotar, the opposition’s triumphalism was demonstrated by another bitter man: AFC country lawyer Charandass Persaud: “You are the government of the day, but the opposition parties (combined) run things. You, Sir, are like a toothless bull-dog. A more appropriate description of your position is (in hunting terms) a ‘sitting duck’.”
It is good of the hick lawyer (another one that went to law school in his dotage) to remind Berbicians that the AFC has now combined with APNU to bring down the PPP.
He who laughs last laughs best.
Strangers to the truth
February 20, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Roadrunner Politics
Faith Harding seemed to have hit a raw nerve when she accused David Granger – who his wide-eyed acolytes Harripaul and Archer swear walks on water – of being ‘a stranger to truth’! She was referring, of course, to the stunts Granger and his godfather ROH Corbin pulled during the stage-managed selection election for the PNC’s presidential candidate. Harding was merely questioning the process: to say it was ‘outcome-determinative’ would be like saying the ocean has water.
From what Harding revealed, the process would not have been unfamiliar to Wile E Coyote in his pursuit of the Roadrunner. A surfeit of absurdly contrived stratagems: dynamite, cliffs, falling rocks, exploding shotguns etc. With Granger/Corbin’s stymieing of Harding and the other contenders, we had – drawing a Granger raffle and handing out Granger paraphernalia on selection day; not assigning her any responsibilities, PNC PR personnel and vehicles only for Granger; big ones calling supporters to support Granger; Corbin and company supporting a Granger book launch during the contest. Whew!
That Harding survived all those ambushes was probably due to the same luck that blessed the Roadrunner. We wish her well. As she pointed out, the PNC has played a devastating role in sidelining women from their top leadership stratus. Quite ironic for a party that has literally been kept afloat by its indefatigable brigade of women activists.
Granger’s aloofness and callousness was exemplified by his response to Harding’s charges: “Her departure will not damage the party.” Shame on you, Dagger!
Loose cannon
Tony Viera, sidelined even by APNU for being a loose cannon, in another one that is stranger to truth. More than anyone in Guyana, he waged a viciously racist campaign for more than a decade that the PPP government was pampering “Indian” sugar workers. His screamed that the PPP was increasing sugar workers’ wages to levels that would cripple the industry.
Now speaking from the other side of his mouth he speculates that the government kept the EC grant from the industry so that “they could say that they did not have money to pay their workers a better wage”!
Monkeying around
The Muckraker-in-Chief is not just a stranger to truth. He’s been out of contact with truth for so long he would not recognise it if it jumped up and bit him on his behind. Referring to the opposition refusing approval of funds paid for overtime to registry workers or to prepare the plot for the Speciality Hospital, he claimed: “It was revealed that moneys were improperly spent.” We challenge him to reveal when and where this was ‘revealed” even as we ask him if he e-mailed his article from Monkey Mountain. After all, it’s more than 28 days since Gouveia challenged him to put up or shut up on lies he wrote about the Duke Lodge acquisition.
Suspending truth
And on the topic of that same acquisition, Goveia had authorised his bookkeeper Christopher “Suspenders” Ram to open his books (Goveria’s) to the Muckraker-in-chief. Now Ram is not just a stranger to the truth; he a declared enemy of the truth. Thus, while Ram couldn’t find time to say whether he was approached by Kissoon (with whom he’s in quite intimate contact – birds of a feather?) for the details, he’s in the Stabber burnishing his reputation for falsification.
He’s complaining that COP Greene was hired past the 55 year retirement age for COPs. But isn’t this the same man who’s been clamouring for Kissoon to be re-hired past the retirement age of 60? Green can’t function past 55 but Kissoon can past 60? He claims Greene’s contract extension is illegal because Jagdeo/Luncheon doesn’t have the authority to do that. (He’s wrong on that count.) But it’s OK for the UG Vice Chancellor to extend Kissoon’s contract even though he doesn’t have the authority? Such is the topsy-turvy world of strangers to the truth!
Dem driving a “one-gear car”
February 20, 2012 By Leave a Comment
People now convinced that de opposition ain’t concern about development. While de Bell Crier “knock” about this before, people mustn’t lose sight of it. By blocking money with dem “one seat extra”, dem jeopardising major projects in health, education, housing and roads. Over de years plenty people get a chance fuh own dem own house and car and so on. When de Coconut Tree party was (mis)leading de nation when dem was in office, people couldn’t afford such things. Even de very lil few who might, dem wouldn’t ah get stuff fuh build house because everything was in shortage then and financial opportunities wasn’t around
Now that people prospering since de Cup party in office, especially when BJ was in charge, de Opposition want de country and de people fuh return to de days of “suffermentation”. Dem palaver how dem gon bring development and so on if dem win. Dem ain’t win, but just gat lil leverage, and dem want fuh reverse all de good things that was achieved. It look like dem still gat de “one-gear car” dem accustom to drive which does only go in reverse! Along with dem pals at de “mukracker”, dem trying fuh stop development that even private people bring about. During dem time, dem mek de “tie-dye” cloth mill place flop and leff it abandon like plenty other places.
De place was leff wasting away and now that it fully develop and plenty people get jobs, dem want to reverse that. De “mukracker” boss blue vex that de place prospering, so as part ah de opposition, he pushing de cause to reverse. Dem just ain’t want people fuh prosper! But people seeing through dem. Faith “let de cat out de bag”. Others like she from de original Coconut Tree party coming to dem sense after getting sideline. David, de now Speaker and Khemraj leff dem with dem “hands up”! Somebody whisper that Corbie might be putting out David and he gang from de Sophia “sanctuary”! If true, than even Corbie now catch he self! After all, de things he now enjoying, he ain’t want it reverse! Ting-a-ling-a-ling…Friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie!
The Modern Woman
February 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment
BY: Anu Dev
When a pregnant woman eats, her baby eats; when she drinks, her baby drinks; whatever she drinks, her baby drinks. It’s all due to a chemical syncytin which bonds mother and child in mammals. This is how evolution decreed it to be and so it has been for millions of years. If Darwin is to be believed, organisms with features most conducive to survival are the ones that survive. Get it? So clearly, this bond between mother and foetus which ensures the newborn is quite developed has been useful for mankind.
But is it always useful for the baby? Does the bond always help the baby? Yes, maybe a hundred years ago when women didn’t drink ‘even and straight’ with the men – when women still felt uncomfortable to clink beer bottles with their husbands.
But now times have changed. We females are now ‘liberated’. We can now drink what men drink, eat what men eat, do the same jobs men can – we are ‘equal’. But while we were fighting that age-old battle for equal rights etc, no one considered the effects this new “modern” lifestyle for women would have on their unique biological duties – to bear children.
Some may say that that sounds archaic, but hey, come up with a way for men to carry a foetus for nine months and then we can talk. However you slice it or dice it, that’s the way we’re built. So if you want the human race survive 2100, it’s time to admit that the right to bear children falls only on women. Now don’t get your dander up… we’re talking about human survival, right?
But so many of us have lost sight of that – we’ve gotten all caught up in becoming the breadwinners of the home, of being career women, of being high-powered executives – being a mother is so outdated. So passé…
So we worry about who will take care of the child when maternity leave is over? Who is there to guide the child? The one in a million dads who have their work based at home? And we miss a baby’s first word because we were listening to instructions from the boss instead?
But back to this new-found liberation; if all work made Jack a dull boy then Jill also has to play. So it’s okay to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes and be ‘one of the boys’. But do these gals even consider their unborn baby? There are so many cases of babies being born with Foetal Alcohol Syndrome because their moms thought it was okay to go all out at Uncle Bill’s last birthday bash. There are serious and long-lasting consequences when mothers drink or smoke while pregnant. The mother may get off scotch-free (pun intended) but the baby will have to pay the price, every minute of every day of every year. So the next time you feel like taking a drag from a cigarette, maybe remembering that you’re pumping carbon monoxide into your baby’s bloodstream would take the edge off that nicotine rush.
So mothers-to-be (liberated or otherwise) think twice before you do anything – after all, you’re in charge of two people now.
Tale of Two Parliaments
February 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment
By Keith Burrowes
This week, I want to continue my engagement with what is increasingly referred to in the public domain as “The New Dispensation” in Parliament.
Let me start off by pointing out that Parliaments perform certain critical functions in the administration of a democracy, prime among which are: the crafting and passage of legislation; representing the rights and interests of citizens; and exercising oversight over the Executive.
It is clear that our parliamentarians would have to reorient their thinking, especially those who served in the previous Parliaments over the many years. It is only after Parliamentarians from previously hostile factions reconcile to work together through the political process can they build a relationship across party lines and properly fulfil these time-honoured roles both inside and outside the walls of the Assembly.
Australia and Canada, two Commonwealth countries – both considered to be developed, modernised countries – are two examples to look upon if Guyana is to benefit from its present parliamentary dispensation with a minority government in place.
With regard to the former, between 1989 and 2009 there have been at least ten examples of minority governments in Australia and its territories. Many minority governments in Australia have been based on a written accord, charter or parliamentary agreement, which set out the conditions under which the political arrangements are to operate.
In Australia, the first example of a written accord for cooperation between minority and majority in Parliament was the Tasmanian Parliamentary Accord agreed to on May 29 1989 between Labour’s Michael Field and five Green Independent Members (Bob Brown, Gerry Bates, Dianne Hollister, Lance Armstrong and Christine Milne). Experts have argued that the Tasmanian Accord is an example of a more policy-based agreement with a strong environmental bias.
In comparison, the Charter of Reform (and later Memorandum of Understanding) in New South Wales between 1991 and 1995 is more of an ‘accountability’ charter, including a broad agenda for constitutional and parliamentary reform.
As a condition for their support of a minority government, minority party or independent Members of Parliament often require the inclusion of certain reform measures in the agreements or charters. Another such innovation on the theme of minority government is the inclusion in Cabinet of minor party or independent members in what is referred to as a loose coalition with the majority party
Under the First Past the Post system, Canada’s politicians view minorities as incentives to engineer defeat and precipitate an early election with a view to restoring a majority government.
Canada’s minorities usually negotiate with other parties on an issue by issue basis to pass legislation and survive confidence votes. In all fairness, it should be noted that there is a view that Canada’s minority governments are short in their duration since those in Government always seek an early election to try and secure the majority government or those in opposition try to exploit favourable terms to engineer the minority government’s defeat.
That said, it does not always have to be a battle between or among the parties, but an exercise in demonstrating negotiating prowess and compromise to arrive at positions to which all would be amenable.
Our own Parliament must consider – and this is clear considering the rhetoric and failed attempts at forming consensus between the parties – that confidence-building measures between the Government and the Opposition is critical and should be pursued with urgency.
This level of confidence can be boosted by ensuring that there is transparency in decision-making by greater importance being placed on the committee structure and by ensuring that all parliamentarians participate in parliamentary business, rather than sidelining certain groups or members. For that trust to be developed, procedures for parliamentary debates should be transparent, well-defined and closely adhered to by members.
If there is to be an open line for dialogue, then the discussion of bills in the National Assembly should not be blocked by the parties with the majority in the House neither should legislation be passed without debate, or without being referred to a committee, in Guyana’s case a special select committee, if the complexity or importance of the piece of legislation demands it. Concerns about fairness of the debate always arise when one political party or a combination of political parties commands a clear majority, hence dialogue must be open and available as an option.
Additionally, in refining a parliamentary culture in a society like Guyana, one must consider how Parliamentarians respond to the needs of the community. I believe that there is tremendous merit in the suggestion there be Parliamentary outreaches in the same way that there are Cabinet outreaches. It is the view of the writer that if Parliament wants to enhance accountability and transparency, then it must be seen as being proactive in communication with the various constituencies represented by its members.
Another way to engage the citizenry would be to televise, live, all of the sittings of the National Assembly, with perhaps even a special channel dedicated for Parliament, similar to the way C-SPAN, short for Cable-Satellite Public Affairs Network, covers the United States Congress. Granted, there is the practical issue of content versus time allotted since Parliamentary sittings are once a week, but with creativity and programme rotation/repetition – Parliamentarian interviews, educational programmes on Parliament and various issues, select committee meetings, citizen viewpoints – content can be created.
In closing, it is felt that the first real test of the new Parliament will come at budget time, where it is a clear possibility that a deadlocked House could trigger new elections. From all indications, all sides want to avert such an eventuality.
Return of the Riggers
February 19, 2012 By 1 Comment