January 27, 2015 By
January 24, 2015 By
Rum Jhaat like to sing and dance to “one in front and one behind”. Especially when he performin pun Station Street and at 7-owe-4 from 7 till 4. Since he and Green Jah start sleepin together, he does sing it nuff times before dem sleep.
He does friken to sing it when he deh home though. Any ting bout front when Rum Jhaat deh home is he in front of a large. And any ting bout behind when Rum Jhaat deh home is he gettin licks in he behind.
Of course, that is licks in he behind to pick up de empty bottles and clean up when he done throw up. De fact that he does pay dem fellas to clean up after he throw up any where in GT don’t wuk at he home address.
But nowadays no body wanna deh behind. Not Green Jah, not Rum Jhaat. Every wanna be in front like a leadah. And Guyana gotta lotta people who wanna be leadah. No body ever wanna “follow de leadah-leadah-leadah”. That is why Rum Jhaat don’t sing and dance to that.
Rum Jhaat wanna lead Green Jah, and Green Jah wanna lead Rum Jhaat. De best ting woulda be to put de two of dem to lead one another. Or as Sparrow seh, “both awee on top” (of one another). Should be a nice piece of wrestling (hustling?) match to see two old men tryin to get on top of one another.
De Nagga Man wanna be leadah too and in fact Rum Jhaat done put he to be leadah fuh de elections. Since then Nagga Man start smilin and by de time he done a large he does start laughin.
But old people seh who laugh last laugh de best. And right now de Nagga Man don’t get to see Rum Jhaat laughin in secret because he tink he gon be de leadah fuh Green Jah, who does also call he heself de leadah.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Soon both of dem gon wanna be on top of Nagga Man!
January 23, 2015 By
Old people does seh some people belly does full, but dem eye ever does never be full. One set of people like that is dem politicians, especially dem ones in Parliament. To eat $1.7M every time it got Parliament, it must mean that dem MPs eye never full even when dem belly full.
Rum Jhaat eye does never full whenever he deh pun Station Street. Same with he rum pardna Nagga Man. De two of dem eyes and throats does mek any large look like a quarter.
On de other hand, Lalloo eye does full quick, but he pants never full. And Freedie de man kisser home library always full, but he eyes used to be full goin into U-Gee Library and he hands used to be full comin out.
That is why he miss U-Gee so much, but he does wanna mek people tink is because he lose he wuk. De problem wid Freedie and books is that he eyes does full wid dem, but never he head. And Freedie only got one head, which ain’t good at all.
Well, every body had thought Green Jah and Rum Jhaat eye woulda be full when de Prezzi finally announce de elections. After, that is whah dem had want fuh so long. Or so dem used to tell de whole of Guyana.
Problem is, dem never tek old people advice that yuh mustn’t ask fuh some ting too much, because yuh might very well get it, and when yuh get it, yuh ain’t gon like it. So said, so done. Now that dem get elections dem ain’t want it.
Even Lin de Con Man and Mookormack ain’t want it. A big consultant fuh a lil party seh is friken dem friken, but de consultant can’t seh that in public, especially since Rum Jhaat and Green Jah wanna do every ting between de sheets.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! And when two people deh between de sheets, dem does got to tek whah dem get!
January 22, 2015 By
Some people in de media in this country like talk bout freedom of speech. But dem is de same people who does abuse freedom of speech. Dem same people does wanna turn round and talk bout abusin freedom of speech, and dem is de biggest culprits.
That is de height of “do as I say and not as I do”. Dem wanna break de rules of freedom of speech and then turn a blind eye. But Adumb doin this kinda wuk since Burnt Ham days, so is nutten new.
Some politicans stay just like that too. Nagga Man does wanna tell people to “shut yuh so-and-so mouth” and Rum Jhaat does wanna tell people to “haul yuh *ss”. It look like these two politicians like to deal wid sheer mouth and sheer *ss.
De problem is yuh can never know de difference between mouth and *ss wheh these two *ss holes concern. Especially when ever dem down de road knockin down a large, which is largely every day if yuh ask dem fellas pun Station Street.
If dem only tek out de beam outta dem own eyes, dem gon start to see good enuff to tek out de mote outta other people eyes. But a lotta dem done blind arready, and that ain’t got cure.
That is why people like Freedie de man kisser can’t see any ting good in this country. De real problem is that de man kisser can’t see at all, except see when he wanna kiss another man pun de seawall, and instead tell every body at home he gone to walk.
A lil boy at U-Gee seh Freedie would walk any distance fuh a kissie. Not to mention de man kisser would say any ting to get pun Bis Ram poll any time of de day. Or night.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! As fuh de Ayre man, he hadda lotta air bout him. So he let out all he hot air just before he hit de air to go back to he cold air.
January 20, 2015 By
Old people seh talk is cheap. And Guyana got plenty of that. Both de talkin and de cheapness. People does talk de talk and then can’t walk de walk.
One paper man talk big and bold in he own paper that he gon publish all Guvament ads fuh free. De very next day he change he talk when he realise is whah really he talk de day before. He couldn’ta walk de walk. Up to this day.
A hotel man not got big talk that he can put US$8 million in to another hotel. When de same man had a chance to put de money into the hotel, he bad talk de hotel and ain’t talk a word bout money.
He hadda long time to walk de walk, but he choose to talk a different talk now to collect de US$8 million from he lawyer friend. Like he fuhget this lawyer friend is a man who can mek money disappear altogether. Just talk to de Feathers people and dem people who does send money from New York fuh de KFC party.
De hotel man don’t even talk bout spendin money to fix de bathroom door, de faucet and de door locks in de hotel whah he own right now. So when he talk bout puttin money in another hotel, every body know it musbe be just talk. And de fact that de hotel man name begin wid “ROB” is serious talk.
Nagga Man does talk that he supposed to be de Prezzi, and he seh Cheddi talk that same talk before he dead. But every body know that was only sheer Nagga Man talk, because only he hear that talk.
Women also known fuh cheap talk, and a women seh in a press conference de other day that she gon stop tekkin pay if de Guvament MPs stop tekkin pay first. But this is a woman (and she husband) who used to collect Sight Global money and never talk a word.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! De most expensive people does give de cheapest talk!
January 19, 2015 By
In life yuh does meet some people who really bare face. And old people seh bare face people is people who ain’t got no shame. Dem would do tings right in fronta yuh face and yuh eye ball and still seh is not dem. Or play like if is not dem.
In Guyana, once yuh mention de word bare face, some people does come to mind right away. De other day Nagga Man been to a press conference and lawda mercy that was a bare face talkin some bare lies next to some bare stupid people at a head table.
Nagga Man so bare dotish that he seh he gon never answer a question whah a reporter ask he, and then he turn round and answer de same question wid a bare face all in de same sentence. So was bare b*lls at de press conference.
And these days it look like Nagga Man and Rum Jhaat don’t ever deh in de same place at de same time. Dem two got two different campaign goin on. Nagga Man is a presidential candidate fuh one party and Rum Jhaat is a prime minister candidate fuh PANTY.
Even Nagga Man tell somebody he never realise that a man who call he self a friend woulda set he up and leff he just so bare skin at de top. Nagga Man gon soon start to do some bare impossible tings to mek tings look at least barely possible fuh he.
Right now it impossible fuh he to be a prezzie, but he tryin to sound like if it possible. And he wish it was possible fuh he to crawl back to de Pee-P-P. But he still hopin that it gon be possible to mek impossible tings look possible all over again. But it look like that is barely a possibility.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! After all, it very possible fuh Nagga Man to do any ting any time, but some tings gon just never be possible wid he! Bein prezzi is just one!
January 17, 2015 By
Some people born stupiddy, some grow up stupiddy and some just plain stupiddy fuh all dem life. And nowadays, people does quick to know when some body dumb if dem look or behave stupiddy.
Fuh a good while over de last couple of weeks, de Nagga Man had turn like de poor dumb boy, which is a lil different from bein stupiddy. But in Nagga Man case, both stupiddy and dumb fit de man perfect, unlike dem suit whah he does wear.
Nagga Man still dumb even in he old age and he does behave like a lil boy. Now law school mek he lil more dumb. Nagga Man don’t even have to hang a “poor-dumb-boy” notice by he neck.
But Nagga Man certainly not poor wid all that money whah he collect from de NICE-LIL place in Kingston. Plus if yuh consider all de FUCOP money, then Nagga Man life set fuh life.
And he is a man who don’t miss out on he duty free. Least Nagga Man coulda is help out de FUCOP man who always lookin fuh duty free. But now de FUCOP man gon end up in a pumpkin jump suit if he don’t beg hard enuff, or tek de same FUCOP money and pay de $100 million.
Nagga Man jump up in Parliament and tell de whole country that he tell he grandson to shut he so-and-so mouth. But these past couple of weeks, it look like some body tell Nagga to shut he so-and-so mouth.
So Nagga Man wasn’t sayin nutten to no body. Some body seh was Rum Jhaat who shut up Nagga Man. Another some body seh Nagga Man couldn’ta seh any ting to any body because Rum Jhaat wanna keep every ting a secret, even de FUCOP money.
So at this stage it look like both Rum Jhaat and Nagga Man gon end up with plenty FUCOP money.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! But as soon as Nagga Man decide to open he mouth again, he sound more dumb and more stupiddy!
January 16, 2015 By
It gotta lotta people who does run around all over de place in Guyana. It got those who does run fuh exercise and it got those who does run from some ting or some body. Some does run from de truth and some does run mad every day like Freedie de man kisser.
Moon does run till day ketch up too, and de man who knock down dem people in Providence de other day had tink he coulda run run like de moon. But he fuhget that day does come when night done.
So when Police hold on pun he in Eccles, he wish it was still night time. But he couldn’ta run no more. Now dem fellas at Camp Street got he runnin backwards and he don’t even get a chance to see day nor night wheh he deh. And dem fellas mekkin he see daylights when get tired runnin backwards!
Dem mini-bus and taxi drivers does wanna run down people just like how Green Jah wanna run down de country, and every body know which rum shop Rum Jhaat and Nagga Man does run to, whether is a wukkin day or not.
Lil Johnny used to try hard to run from Uncle Rafeel whenever Uncle Rafeel was hard on (in?) him, but now poor Lil Johnny don’t know wheh to run. All because Uncle Rafeel know good how to trot down any man – any where, any how, any time and fuh any ting.
Lalloo mighta been de only man Lil Johnny coulda run to, because Lalloo don’t get hard wid no body. But then again Lil Johnny mighta been in more danger because Lalloo is a cut throat who who does run and pick up knife to cut people throat.
Some people simply gotta runnin problem altogether. Samad de nomad is one of dem who gotta runnin problem. When he run and seh one ting, Rum Jhaat does run and seh some ting different.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! So Samad de nomad run from de fryin pan and into de fire!
January 15, 2015 By
A New York poll man, who happen to also be a ram, does expose Freedie de man kisser a lotta times in de press. Freedie like to tink that he bright and that he can poll more than de New York poll man.
But Freedie seh he gotta poll, but he never show he poll yet, and he does wanna see plenty people poll.
Now when some body seh dem have some ting and dem ain’t wanna show it, it could be that dem ain’t got de ting in de first place. Or it could be that dem have it, but it ain’t good. So wid Freedie poll, yuh can never know is which one of de two, because he never show it.
Now some lil boy who does write one and two tings to de Editor mek Freedie look like a lil boy too. Up to this day, Freedie can’t show whah ever research he ever do, and de lil boy ask Freedie to show it.
Is now people realise that it look like wid all dem books whah Freedie thief, he don’t even read dem. De Misirable man should just give one of he books to Freedie and hope that he read it. After all Freedie love freeness.
So again, it could only mean that Freedie never do any research, or if he ever do any, it ain’t good. At least one research whah he do on de Misirable man was wrong. So Freedie mek de boss man had to seh sorry not once, but two times.
Now Freedie boss man accustom to sayin sorry and beg pardon. Whole year last year he had to be tellin people sorry and beg pardon, but he been hopin fuh a different year this year. Or to simply beg fuh other tings, like Lexus and so on.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! At least so far, Freedie boss man was hopin that this year he woulda only have to beg de Guvament and GRA. Now he got to beg to save Freedie too!
January 13, 2015 By