March 5, 2015

De Mook give Adumb a long tongue lashin

Most people who know Adumb believe he is a easy goin man. He don’t really trouble no body. He does wuk hard although he gettin on in years and lookin so.

Every body who know Adumb know that he does tell lies fuh a livin. Adumb mek a career, a life time and a livin from lyin. Adumb got de Mook enjoyin livin just by lyin.

Whah people can’t understand is how a man like Adumb could tek so mucha lashin all he life. From Burnt Ham to de Heights Man and now to de Mook. By now Adumb get used to tekkin a good lash.

Burnt Ham and de Heights Man lash Adumb over and over. But de Mook is a warp man, so he does wanna lash Adumb over and under. When yuh lash some body both ways is never a good ting. Dem does feel used and abused.

Ask Lil Johnny and he gon tell yuh every ting bout how he get lash both ways. Uncle Rafeel know too. After all that lashin, Uncle Rafeel use de court to lash Lil Johnny.

At least wid Burnt Ham, Adumb done tek he share of lashin. But Burnt Ham dead and gone. Heights Man never use a whip to lash like Burnt Ham, but Heights Man had a big stick to lash Adumb. Thank God fuh Adumb, Heights Man dead and gone too.

When it come to de Mook, all de lashin gone over every ting and under every ting. Every body who know Adumb seh as big man he should never tek that kinda lashin, especially from de Mook.

A lil gyal who wukkin pun Saffon Street seh even though other people leff de Mook, Adumb gon never leff de Mook. She seh Adumb navel string and some ting below de navel bury deep inside de Mook.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Adumb is no mook, but when de Mook give he a long tongue lashin de other day, he end up feelin worse than a mook!

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Who get off and who get half

A man who wife get a baby de other day start to cuss out he in-laws. Accordin to de son-in-law, he in-laws behavin like outlaws and he lookin to de laws to help he see he own pickney.

He further believe that de law should allow fuh that. He also hopin that de in-laws don’t get off from de law like de outlaws in de cowboy days.

No body can blame de son-in-law fuh tinkin like this, because nuff people gettin off from the law these days. It got some who runnin from de law and it got some who hidin from de law, even in de snow. So de country gettin more lawless.

A man from Moco Moco get off from de law even though he do some ting to a lil gyal and people ketch he. A presidential guard get off de other day too. Then a Guvament Minister get off and yuh hear nuff people mouth when de Dee-P-P seh no charge.

But when Uncle Rafeel as well get off, dem same people stay quiet. Uncle Rafeel even put duct tape pun Lil Johnny mouth, so not even Lil Johnny coulda open he mouth, except when he deh with Uncle Rafeel.

Then of course it got Police men and women who does beat up people and get off. Some get beat up till dem drop down dead and some get burn all over dem body parts. But de Police still get off every time.

A woman from West Coast was supposed to turn up and ID de Police who beat up she husband and kill he. But she so friken that she also gon get beat up, she ain’t bother to show up. And de Police get off again.

A man who want not one but two Lexus get off not one but two time de other day from de Tax Man, who don’t let any body else get off.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Some body seh while de Lexus man get off, de Tax Man get half!

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De fightin and de in-fightin

Since before de elections announcement, dem Opposition politicians was fightin fuh elections. From Nagga Man, to Rum Jhaat, to Green Jah to Joe de Hard Mouth was fightin.

De Prezzi finally give dem whah dem want, and up to now dem still fightin. Even dem ABC people who don’t know Guyana ABC was fightin at one time.

Well, elections ain’t reach yet and de fightin get more bad. Prezzi had only just mek de announcement fuh de prorogation and de Nagga Man was already fightin to be Prezzi, although that ain’t nutten new. Is since de Pee-P-P days he been fightin fuh position.

Even after de Nagga Man a** get haul out from de Pee-P-P, he was still fightin to be Prezzi. But wid all that fightin, Green Jah still knock he down, and he had to settle fuh whah he get, not knowin yet whah he gon get.

Rum Jhaat is another one who been fightin since he was in de Pee-P-P. And he does wanna haul every body a** when he fightin. Some lil boy musta haul Rum Jhaat a** real good when he was growin up in Number 47 Village and leff all de way in 69. Till now he spittin out when he talkin.

De Pee-P-P announce Harper, who is a damn good woman, fuh de Prime Minister position and more fightin start. First, de Kissmoon woman run to bet up Edghill and push he over de edge of a cliff in Linden.

But Edghill shoulda know bettter than to trust every body just because he is a pastor, because is de same Kissmoon woman who had create a big fight when Oscar de bite man had try to get de poorkey fuh a buildin, which he know Kissmoon had in she purse.

Then Nagga Man start harpin bout Harper till he get hoarse. Now de Selman woman sell out and resign.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! But before Selmnan done wid dem, she let out a lotta secrets bout de in-fightin that causin de fightin.

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Freedie gotta idle mind, but fast hands

Old people seh a idle mind is de devil’s wukshop, but dem didn’t remember to tell young people who wukshop it is when de devil he self gotta idle mind. That must be some kinda headquarters fuh all de wukshops.

Now this newspaper would never call any body de devil, although it got plenty of dem around who does look like de devil, sound like de devil, do tings whah de devil does do, and turn other people into devils just like dem.

When yuh go back a few decades to dem devils who used to rig all de elections, yuh would realise that it had a lotta dem back then. De problem is that some of dem devils still alive up to today. And these devils got some converts who turn just like dem.

Rum Karran get convert. Moses de Nagga Man done get convert. Samad de Nomad get convert de other day. And, of course, Rum Jhaat is de biggest convert. In fact, Rum Jhaat turn de preacher by now in charge of all converts. But Rum Jhaat does want haul (or all?) dem a** too quick.

Good ting fuh Sextus and Ballswant, they end up haulin dem own a** before Rum Jhaat coulda get he idle brains but busy hands on dem a**. And talkin bout idle brains, yuh can never fuh get Freedie.

Freedie brains so idle he wanna sue poll man Bisram fuh libel, but Freedie ain’t talk bout how many times he libel people. It look like Kwame gon have to put a lash pun Freedie till he sue-sue fuh he come to he senses like Adumb.

But Freedie might play more stupiddy fuh more lashin. Freedie might have a idle brain, but he hands busy wid people books just like how Rum Jhaat hands busy wid people a** and de KFC donations.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! De other day Freedie was tryin a ting to get he hands pun a Digi phone. If only Freedie brains coulda wuk as fast as he hands, tings woulda wuk out.

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Adumb like lash, but cant tek lashin

Media wuk is serious wuk. Any body who wuk in de media know that it ain’t no easy wuk. Some people in de media does use it as a weapon to lash people fuh no good reason at all, and mek it look like that is part of de wuk.

De problem is every lash got lash back, and some people in de media can’t handle de lash back, nor de back lash. A lotta dem on de other hand simply prefer a lash in de back, and that does make dem happy.

When yuh in de media, yuh does have to lash every body at some time. From politicians to de business people to de ordinary man does have to tek some lashin. But it always got some crooks who don’t expect any lashin because dem got friends in de media.

Some times de very people in de media does lash one another. De Muckraker does want to lash every body and every other media. But when de Stabber lash back de Muckraker boss man de other day, de boss man lose he appetite, then wind build up in he stomach and he start to fart.

And when that boss man fart, Adumb does have to say “excuse me”. So both Adumb and he boss man try to lash de Stabber and Hanand de headitor. But Hanand could tek a real good lashin and he could also lash back.

When de Muckraker lash from Harry Wrong to Harry Right, that is press freedom, but when de Stabber and any other media lash de boss man, that ain’t press freedom. Adumb and he boss man call that spite. Yea, rite.

Now it look like Adumb wanna tek out spite and lash Kwame. But while Kwame could tek a good lashin like Hanand, he ain’t tekkin no lashin from Adumb. In fact, Kwame run behind Adumb to give he a good lash back.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! But clearly at that age, old Adumb ain’t able with Kwame lash back!

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Those who wish fuh no more tomorrow

Some people got life easy and some got it real hard. It does be hard fuh dem who got life hard to tek tings one day at a time. Or to look forward to another day as just another day.

One man who wish that tomorrow would never come is Nagga Man. Since de Prezzi announce de elections, is every day Nagga don’t want no tomorrow. At first, he was friken a former Prezzi. Now, he friken a woman.

That is because Nagga Man had lie pun Pappa Cheddi and seh he must be de next Prezzi. Now he does start to get bassidy when he see a photo of a former Prezzi. Nagga also can’t watch the current Prezzi eye to eye because he tell de same lie to he too.

But when a man is a born liar, no body can stop de. Green Jah learn that when Nagga tell he that he gon show up the rally. And dem Berbice people learn that when he tell dem he gon never give he bamzee to Green Jah.

But here now is de Nagga Man claimin that when he give up he bamzee, he get back more than bamzee in return. Now Green Jah is a old soldier, so any guess whah he give to Nagga in exchange fuh de bamzee is a very good guess.

Fuh some people, every day is de same misery, but some days is more misery than some. De man who want not one but two Lexus deh every day in de cold. He don’t wanna hear tomorrow much less see it.

But no matter whah he try, de Lexus money trail still there even fuh de blind to see. As old people seh, boat done gone in de water already, and soon de Lexus might end up in water too.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell maattie! That is when he gon beg fuh no more water when de High-R-S done wid he, and he put on he pumpkin jump suit.

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A Minister spoil Freedie Mash

Accordin to a song, memories don’t leave like people do. What that mean is that people does forgive, but dem don’t ever forget. Fuh some people, only when tings convenient, then dem does suffer from memory loss. Especially like when some body owe some body some money.

Mash Day come and gone and this morning, as in every year, de mess up and de mash up was every where. Is just like whah de Pee-and-See do to de country back then. Mash up de whole country and mess up de whole country.
So up to now, 23 years after, it still got memories. Dem is memories which gone never leave people. It gon pass from generation to generation, and even from pickney to pickney who mekkin pickney
And in this case, de people ain’t can’t forget much less forgive. That is why in this case a man like Green Bridge is better off shuttin he mouth when it come to de economy.
And Freedie de man kisser better off not watchin whah other people doin pun Mash Day and every other day of de year.

De other day Freedie de man kisser had want to know who gon be back-ballin on Mash Day. Freedie even bad talk de Rowley man from Trindad fuh back-ballin in de Carnival. Why Freedie want to be in Rowley business is any body’s guess. But some body seh Freedie wish Rowley coulda come to Guyana Mash and back-ball pun he by de sea wall.

And as usual, Freedie had to watch whah poll man Bisram was doin wid he polls, and had want to know if de Prezzie or any former Prezzie would be back-ballin fuh Mash.
So it ain’t got no doubt that Freedie had want some body to back-ball pun he back fuh Mash, and it look like he woulda tek one from de poll man Bisram.
Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Don’t know why Minister Anthony had to spoil Freedie Mash by stoppin all vulgarity. Poor Freedie had to hide and kiss pun de sea wall.

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De best Mash gon be when Green Jah mash Nagga

Today is Mash Day, which was always supposed to be all about Guyana as a Republic. But nowadays, every ting around this time is more about Mash than de Republic.

De Pee-and-See used to mek people mash so much that dem end up mashin up de whole of Guyana and de whole of de Republic.

Burnham fuh sure was a real mash man. Along de way, he mash up Rodney, then Teekah get mash up, and even poor Shirley get mash up. Nuff other people get mash up too. Green Ham know de whole mash up list, startin wid Shirley.

Green Ham he self might only look mash up now, but he had he days when he used to do a lotta mashin up, along side Burnham.

Even now Green Ham still got de mash up habit and he still addicted to mashin up. That is why he wanna mash up Sooba just like how he mash up GT, and he wanna mash up de S*ity Council de same way.

Word is out that he mash de other Green too and that he still mashin up to now. And both of de Greens wanna mash up Sooba, but Sooba know that she can’t handle two at one time. So she might have to call Hen Rico to help tek some mashin.

At one time Green Ham and Hoyte used to wanna mash up one another. De end result was that dem mash till de country get mash up, then Hoyte finally get mash up.

Mash up is indeed de end result of people who like to mash up, no matter who is yuh father or who is yuh mother.

Lucky ting Carter had to come and mash up Hoyte before he coulda mash up GT after Pappa Cheddi had mash up de elections in 1992. If it was leff to Hoyte alone, he woulda mash up dem ballot boxes just like in 1985.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! But de best Mash gon be when Green Jah mash Nagga!

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VC mouth open and true story jump out

When mouth open story does always jump out. No matter who mouth it is. And a lotta people openin dem mouth nowadays. Rum Jhaat on de other hand hardly openin he mouth these days though, except when a large in fronta he.

But Cement Roti does open he mouth at dem press conferences and then fuhget whah he seh by de time de next one come around. After de Pee-P-P win, he might not get to do another press conference.

De U-Gee workers open dem mouth fuh more money just like dem public servants not too long ago. Then dem march in de streets and open dem mouth fuh more money again and again, and dem still ain’t done yet.

De Vee-See fuh U-Gee also been opening he mouth. But finally de other day he open he mouth again and de story that he had always want to come out finally come out. That is, de U-Gee people don’t wuk, yet dem want more money. All de time, he was holdin back.

Is de same problem wid de public servants. It look like people lookin fuh less wuk and more money, when de rule is that when yuh need more money, yuh supposed to wuk more hard. But this striking and walkin is too hard fuh dem. Soon dem gon be back pun campus teachin five hours a week rather than marchin whole day.

And that is de problem wid plenty people in this country. Dem want tings whah dem ain’t wuk to achieve. One man want two Lexus just like that. Nagga man want to be Prezzie when he never wuk fuh that.

Wid elections just about de corner, it gon be another story in all de parties, including dem who done marry and dem who still single. Nagga divorce one party and now he marry again. But nutten ain’t change because is de same demands all over again.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Somebody seh if Nagga was a woman, not a man woulda be able to satifsy that kinda appetite. Not even See-Hen, nor he son.

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This is desperation time

These are desperate times and desperation does lead to all kinda problems. Is de last days and it gon be desperate times fuh a lotta people. Even de good book seh so. And when people desperate dem does be under pressure.

Then when people under pressure, dem does have to let out that pressure some how. It does come out in all manner, shape or form.

Rum Jhaat does let out pressure by telling people to haul dem a**. Never mind dem people in Berbice let out pressure by haulin he a** out de other day. That was steam, pressure and hot water all in one.

Now another man resign from de KFC and and Rum Jhaat start feelin de pressure from under he. A reporter call David who tink he is Goliath de giant, but he can’t even open he mouth to talk. Is de pressure got he so.

By de time Nagga Man hear bout all this, he drop down. De pressure reach to he neck back. Some body seh Nagga Man give away he a** and now he got to do tings through he ribs. He is one man a** that can’t tek no more haulin!

A man was under a different kinda pressure de other day at de airport. As soon as dem airport people pat he down he start to pass out pellets like goat, and de airport people thought at first that he had too much channa to eat.

Well, is two days straight he pass out like goat, and a doctor seh he still got more to come. Some body should do a DNA test to see whether he got goat blood.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! De man wid not one but two duty free Lexus let out pressure de other day pun de Tax Man. Well, de Tax Man get so bassidy that he let out all he pressure, not one but two times…one fuh each Lexus.

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