October 24, 2014

Pullin out is big problem

De whole of Waste Indies cricket deh in problems right now since dem fellas decide to pull out from India. Is not often that cricketers does pull out from any ting so easy when dem gettin pay.

If any ting, dem does wanna stay in too long, but in de wrong tings.

Chanderpaul is de only one who does stay in fuh very long and de fans does still like he when he deh in. And now at 40 years old, Chanderpaul still deh in and de fans still don’t want he to pull out.

WICB tink Chanderpaul can’t bang de ball so dem pull he out from de One Day team. But a lotta people tink dem should put he in back, because dem other fellas don’t ever last fuh long.

Even Gayle don’t last fuh long and when he in de middle some bowler does pull he out. And dem other fellas does keep goin in and comin out too fast. After all, Chanderpaul born in a fishin village, so no body understand why de WICB tink de man ain’t able.

Now it look like de ICC gon pull out from de WICB just like how de GCB pull out Sarwan from de Guyana team and can’t find no body like he to put back in.

Dem pull out a fella from Barbados and every body know whah dem Bajans like when it come to pullin out and puttin in. It musbe some body at de GCB who like whah dem Bajans like.

These days, one big man beggin another big man name Sattaur to pull out and beggin he not to ever come back in. It look like de big man had never know that it woulda get so painful wid de big Sattaur in fuh so long. Now is every day he bawlin, “Ow Sattaur”.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! And all de time Rum Jhaat was happy when Green Jah was in. But since Green Jah pull out from Rum Jhaat, it causin big problem.

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Right time fuh de Festival of Lights

A lotta darkness deh right now in Guyana, so de Festival of Lights couldn’ta come at a better time. Even though G-Pee-Hell does always promise more lights, it still gotta lotta people who deh in a lotta darkness who need a lotta light.

And since G-Pee-Hell givin more darkness than light, is every body lookin forward fuh some ting to light up dem life in one way or another. Some people does find bhai friend, some people does find gyal friend, and some does find both, just to light up dem life.

Yuh just have to mek sure is not some body else bhai friend or gyal friend lightin up yuh life. Otherwise dem might end up tekkin all de light outta yuh life. And yuh might never see de light again.

Right now it look like KFC got three old blind mice who don’t see de light and dem ain want people see de light. Rum Jhaat and de Nagga Man don’t even see de light of day.

And where yuh can’t see any light, it can only be total darkness. And both of dem in total darkness bout when Parliament should reconvene. So wid dem eyes wide shut, mouth open big and dem announce a wrong date.

But that is a normal ting when one blind man leadin another blind man. It gon always be total darkness. And talkin bout total darkness, another KFCite hopin to keep people in total darkness.

Uncle Rafeel move to de court to keep people in de dark just because he wanna hide whah he was doin in de dark. De Welsh Man tryin to help he see de light, but it look like Uncle Rafeel accustom to de dark and like de dark.

And yet another KFCite NoGel Hugly was tryin to keep people in de dark bout de money he was gettin from Sight Global. So thank de almighty that whah ever is done in de dark does come to light.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! So is de right time to celebrate de Festival of Lights. Happy Diwali.

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These musbe de last days

Desperate people does do desperate tings in life to survive. Soon dem does don’t know wheh to turn, and when desperate people don’t know wheh to turn, dem does start to lash out at every ting whah dem see or whah dem can touch. It does even be wuss than when a woman find she man wid another man.

Dem does even lash out at tings whah dem ain’t even know bout and dem imagination does start to run wild. So in dem sleep, dem does start to dream and tink is reality. And in dem wake, dem does mek up tings and then convince dem self that whah ever dem mek up is tru tru story.

And that is how some people behavin these days in this great land of de Mazaruni and Lot 12 Camp Street, which does come right after de GT Magistrates’ Courts, even if yuh turn up wid eight old lawyers, wanna be lawyers or half lawyers, all of whom are liars.

A preacher was preachin in a chuch de other day and he tell de people loud and clear that these are de last days. Well, that preacher deserve a lotta blessins. So he should fuhget he tithe fuh this month and next month, and buy some ting fuh he self, because he right on de ball bout de last days.

That is, assumin he does give tithes because yuh never know de truth wid dem chuch people nowadays. After all, Uncle Rafeel and Bencock is chuch men and yuh never know if tithe money does turn hush money.

So just like how dem evil people who does hide in de chuch system friken de last days, it got people outside de chuch system who friken de last days more than de chuch people. And is simply because if de chuch people gon get fire and brimstone fuh de evil whah dem do, guess whah de people outside de chuch gon get.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! If yuh ain’t sure, just keep checkin Mazaruni and Lot 12!

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Keep lookin out fuh de fringes

Old people seh when yuh live in a glass house yuh musn’t pelt people pun de road. Old people also seh that knock got knock back. Plus old people seh when yuh do evil tings, yuh musbe ready fuh de consequences.

These days it gotta lotta people who ain’t ready to face de consequences of de evil tings whah dem doin. Whah is de most hutful part is that some of de evildoers ain’t even know whah de consequences gon be yet.

But whole country done know that it gon have consequences. And that dem kinda consequences does be both severe and several. ‘Severe’ meaning that it ain’t gon be easy and ‘several’ meaning de number of years.

And de ‘years’ part is whah got dem losin sleep over, even though dem drinkin sleepin tablet and runnin to read other people paper early morning. As old people also seh, whah miss yuh nah go pass yuh.

A man de other day thief in Better Hope. He run away to Plaisance hopin fuh better. But de Pullice had better hope than he, so when dem ketch he, dem throw he in de only place whah was better fuh he at Sparendaam. Now he beggin fuh better and he hopin fuh better. But he bound to get some better years.

It got people who miss a lotta years in de past. Dem miss it by de skin of dem teeth, but teeth don’t keep that kinda skin fuh long. Is simply because whah ever is done in secret does come to light some day. And whah ever is done outta Guyana does still come back to Guyana.

It also got some people who does like to call people all kinda names and use all kinda words to describe other people. But when dem get back word in dem a**, dem does can’t tek it. Mosta dem is on de fringe and behavin like dem on de fringe, but when yuh call dem fringe dem vex.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Just keep lookin out fuh de fringes!

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Lalloo tink he is a big boy now

Since Lalloo getta lil lawyer wuk, he tink he is big boy. Well, he is a old boy a long time now, but he tink he a big boy wheh de lawyer wuk concern. He never used to get any lawyer wuk and he had seh he woulda do all he lawyer wuk fuh free.

But even then he still never used to get any wuk. Well, now that he getta lil bit lawyer wuk wid some other old boys, he actually tink he can lime wid dem big lawyer boys who is real big lawyers.

In de fuss place, Lalloo used to tink that because he coulda tell a good lie, that woulda mek he into a good lawyer. He tek long to realise that all lawyers does be good liars, but that ain’t mean that all liars can be good lawyers.

Indeed, when yuh talk bout lyin, Lalloo way up deh among de top liars. Lalloo does mek “King Liar” look like stupidness. People does tink Lalloo stupiddy, and most of de times dem right, but not wheh lyin concern. And that ain’t no lie.

Well, talk bout liars and lawyers, eight lawyers turn up to represent one man de other day. It could be a sign that is how much that one man friken jail. Somebody seh he like whah he gon get in jail, but he just don’t want it in jail.

And to tink that none of dem eight lawyers turn up fuh a lil boy who was beggin fuh a lawyer to fight another lawyer, who look like a liar, is a clear indication of de art of lyin as a lawyer. Lalloo ain’t reach that stage, but Ron done run past that stage.

As soon as de lil boy talk out he mind, Ron had start to run from de Bar. But when a real lawyer who name Peter Hugh tek up de matter, suddenly Ron run back and seh he coulda tek de wuk.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Talk bout another King Liar!

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Uncle Rafeel got a lot to cover up

People does use plaster to cover a sore. But is still a sore. Even when de sore heal up, de mark does still leff. In fact, it does stay deh fuh life pun some people. And especially when de sore big, it does be hard to cover up.

And talkin bout cover up, it got plenty people wid sore in Guyana which can never cover up. Nuff a dem is sore fuh life. No matter how much plaster yuh put pun dem, dem gon still be sore fuh life. But de plaster does tek plenty different form to cover up.

Some does write letter to de press to cover up. Some does go on Tee-Vee to cover up. Some does write columns to cover up. Plus getta article in de same newspaper on de same day on de same topic to cover up. If yuh doubt call Hannah at de Stabber.

One of dem try a gag order de other day to cover up. He name Uncle Rafeel. He been tryin to cover up a long time. Even when people tell Uncle Rafeel to look after he sore, he ain’t tek dem on to cover up.

Yet Uncle Rafeel turn round and blame dem to cover up. Was then when de lil boy turn round and seh Uncle Rafeel like this turn round ting a long time now. It musbe that Uncle Rafeel ain’t got any feelins even though de sore still deh bout.

He only had feelins when he used to tek money and buy plenty nice tings. That was another plaster whah he try a long time now to cover up. But plaster does only last fuh a certain time. That is why old people seh yuh can fool people some of de time, but not all people all of de time.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Another man wid plenty sore tryin to cover up. He tink he got plaster fuh every sore. From front page comment to front page photo. That’s a lotta cover up. But is also a lotta sore to cover up!

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Lalloo finally getta lil lawyer wuk

Guyana gotta lotta wuk, but still some people ain’t gettin wuk. That is because some people just don’t like wuk. Other people don’t like hard wuk, but dem like easy wuk. Some don’t turn up fuh wuk. Some does turn up to wuk and don’t wuk. In this country, that just can’t wuk.

Rum Jhaat and Green Jah want de Prezzi wuk. Rum Jhaat and Green Jah can’t even do dem own wuk, but yet dem want de Prezzi wuk. So Prezzi end up wid he own wuk, plus he got to help out wid Green Jah and Rum Jhaat wuk.

Even some of de Prezzi ministers and other Guvament people don’t do dem wuk. So poor Prezzi got to also chip in wid dem wuk. That is why Prezzi get so fine now. Is simply because he doin too mucha wuk, since he leff wid every body wuk.

Green Jah can’t even do Linden wuk, and yet he want de whole of de country wuk. He try to shack out de Kiss Woman pun she Linden party wuk. After that, he even bring in he own people to do she wuk.

But de Kiss Woman is a strong woman who accustom to hard wuk. That is why Oscar de bite man couldn’ta handle she wuk. But she don’t allow any body to get she wuk up. So de Kiss Woman open she mouth and tell Green Jah to kiss she a** and keep he wuk.

Now de Kiss Woman used to damn well get up and do she wuk. So now is no wonder de Linden people fightin fuh she keep she wuk. And dem tell off Green Jah that he should leff de party wuk.

Rum Jhaat on de other hand ain’t able wid he own lil party wuk, but he fightin fuh de whole Guvament wuk. But de whole country know that Rum Jhaat can’t wuk, except to do a lotta wrong wuk.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Well, finally Lalloo get some lawyer wuk after de Paper Man was tryin to block de Tax Man wuk.

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Lawyers can only stand up fuh some people

Old people seh whah ever yuh don’t want fuh yuh self, yuh must never wish de same ting fuh other people. And when yuh know yuh doin wicked tings, yuh must never run yuh mouth bout other people who yuh tink doin de same wickedness like whah yuh doin.

Is like Rum Jhaat, de a** man, who get ketch red hand wid de Feathers people. Yet he callin other people thief. He even turn round and bad talk de same ting whah he wanna mek money from, just because Feathers ain’t get it.

Is like Nagga Man, de donkey man, who get ketch with NICIL money. Yet he turn round and bad talk all the wuk whah NICIL doin. Old people also seh when yuh behave like that, yuh is a snitch. And it got nuff snitches around GT who gettin ketch red-handed.

Is like NoGel Hugly who does talk like no body ever tek off he pants, not counting de Kitty Cat. But is only when de story buss out wid Sight Globe and de school building that he get ketch red handed. This is a man who gettin ketch red handed all thru he life going back to the tape whah he thief at Buxton.

Old people also seh when yuh live in a glass house yuh must never pelt no body. And right now a lotta people tryin to hide, and dem deh in glass house.

In fact, right now a big man tryin to hide behind eight lawyers at one time. Yet, de other day a Lil Boy couldn’t get not even one lawyer to represent he. De Lil Boy beg and plead and still no lawyer ain’t stand up.

Every body know Joe de Hard Mouth, Lalloo and Rum Jhaat can’t stand up, but whah happen wid de rest is any body’s guess. Although Ron was runnin, he seh he was ready. But Ron only run he mouth and seh so when de Lil Boy done get somebody.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! So it look like he too can’t stand up!

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Green Jah appear and disappear

Green Jah is a old soldier now, but he used to be a big time Harmy man once upon a time. In dem once upon a time days, Green Jah was so big that he was involve in a lotta big tings wit a lotta big people.

When ever de big bad Burnt Ham had want any ting (any any ting and every every ting) done, he used to call de big Green Jah. Once de big bad Burnt Ham call a Harmy man to do any ting, that man bound to get even bigger.

So that is de (w)hole story behind Green Jah and how he move from behind every ting and every body to in front every ting and every body. By then Green Jah had turn into a real biggity Harmy man.

Green Jah was very very big in de Harmy when Dr Rodney was by de Camp Street prison, which is wheh a lotta Pee-N-See people should end up after that day. After Rodney disappear, Green Jah was so big, Burnt Ham had to call he to mek another man disappear to another Guiana.

Dem times was when Green Jah coulda just whistle and 10 men, not countin women, woulda suddenly appear around he, all wid guns. That is how big Green Jah was. And before de whistle, five men, not countin women, used to done be around he, all wid guns. That is how big Green Jah was.

Mouth open and story jump out at de Rodney See-O-I and is then de people understand how really big Green Jah was. Dem guns whah dem fellas used to appear wid around Green Jah used to disappear.

Nowadays Green Jah tink he so big that he mek dem Linden people had to disappear when he con dem at Con Gress Place de other day. He tink he so big that he think he coulda go to Linden and mek dem re-appear.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! De only problem was when dem re-appear, Green Jah had to disappear. And is never easy to mek a big ting disappear!

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De blind leadin de blind

Guyana is de land of plenty water and right now Peter’s Hall and Providence gotta lotta flood water. Is water, water every where in de whole area, but it ain’t got much to drink right now because even G-W-High water not high enough. So right now G-W-High water under water.

If that had been a koker in Region Two, Region Three, or Region Five, or Region Six, yuh woulda hear a lotta people mouth that de Guvament ain’t doing nutten. Yuh woulda hear some ting every day from every Tom, Dick and Harry, which is de equivalent of Harmon, Rum Jhaat and Greenidge.

De only problem deh is that Rum Jhaat and Dick don’t go together. Not because he ain’t got any, but simply because, according to one of dem lil gyal by de court, it don’t wuk. That is quite unlike Uncle Rafeel, who is a gag man. If yuh doubt that, just ask Bencock, who is a hush man

But Harmon, Rum Jhaat and Greenidge does got to seh some ting bout every ting. And don’t fuhget Lalloo, Nagga Man, and de one who last name first four letters rhyme wid fool. Gool cut and run from dem Transparency people because he not transparent, but somehow he mouth still runnin. Mouth worries does come to mind when yuh hear dem talk.

But just because this time is Region Four, all of them shut dem traps and stay quiet. Old people seh talk is cheap and yuh must never go after yuh own. Well FLOPNU and KFC followin this old people rule to the very last letter.

That is why people does seh Rum Jhaat and Green Jah is two-face politicians. Two-face people does see whah dem want to see and turn blind when dem want to be blind, although some body seh Rum Jhaat blind all de time, except when is time to see dem flattie.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! And wid Nagga Man not knowin whah de hell he can bring to he party, is de blind leadin de blind!

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