August 2, 2014

Harmy people wrong and strong

It got people who colour blind…dem who does see white and call it black, and it got people who just blind…dem who can’t see nutten at all. On de other hand it gotta special kinda people who de more dem look, de less dem see.

By de end of this last Pee-N-C election, whah everybody know was a selection, a lotta people who been to Con Gress Place come out and had to run fuh eye test. This is because everybody see de same ting, but everybody seh some ting different.

Some of dem like de Plaisance man and de Linden people ain’t believe whah dem see. But de minute dem talk out, dem wasn’t allowed to see any ting else. Some ain’t get to see any ting at all, and when dem talk, dem had to see de gate.

De Linden gyal see Oscar de bite man, but that was when de bite man play like he ain’t see she, not even she hand fuh a hand shake. De bite man would like to tink that he see de last of she. But Oscar ain’t know that he ain’t see nutten yet.

Plus it got some who see de whole ting inside out, includin seein de man who tek out a gun. After de scatteration, dem couldn’t see de gun nor de man who had de gun. Soon dem gon be able to see he in Camp Street. And of course dem gon see he at de next selection.

It got some who ain’t believe it got any ting leff fuh dem to see, because dem done see it all. But it got one man who not only see it all, but he also do it all. That is de same man who seh he ain’t see any ting wrong wid de selection.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! If that man ain’t see any ting wrong, de only problem mus be that he wrong and playin strong. But a reporter seh is so Harmy people does behave!

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One man thought he coulda fly

Today is Emancipation Day and it is a happy day fuh de whole of Guyana.

People gon celebrate and have a good time. Even though today is a day whah does bring back memories of hard times, people can be happy now knowin that dem days gone.

And dem days gon never come back. In fact, now de talk is bout pay back. Although some of dem Euro countries wanna turn dem back. Back then, de white people was happy and smilin and every other kinda people was sad and strugglin.

Thank God fuh those who fight fuh de freedom whah everybody can enjoy today. Still, some people does abuse that freedom.

So nowadays, though, it gotta different kinda slavery goin on. Some slaves gettin big position and tekkin pay fuh dem soul.

Green Jah fuh sure gon be happy all day today. He rig he own elections and get leadership position again, so he gon be celebratin whole day.

Green Jah de so-called leader of course longin fuh a chance to rig more elections, includin bigger elections, but that is a chance whah gon go a-beggin, even as he beggin right now to get back dem people from Linden and from Plaisance.

Will Yams gon be a happy man too because he feel that once Green Jah deh bout, he in a safe house. He believe that because he gotta old Harmy man watchin he back that he ain’t got nutten to worry bout.

When campaign time come round, dem Linden and Plaisance people gon be waitin fuh dem.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Green Jah promise one man freedom to fly. But no matter whah kinda wings Green Jah give he, de only flyin fuh he is straight to jail.

Happy Emancipation Day.

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Green Jah mekkin tings disappear

Green Jah does mek he mark every where he go and wid every ting he do. Since he days in de Harmy, he been mekkin he mark.Tings just gotta way of happening once Green Jah deh bout. Yet some people in Green Jah own party does seh he too easy. Old people seh easy snake does bite hot, and old people always right.

Green Jah so hot he does mek tings melt and disappear. Green Jah been in de Harmy when Rodney disappear. As soon as Rodney disappear, Gregory disappear. Now that de Rodney COI in progress, Gregory file disappear.

It look like some people can mek tings disappear even when dem not around. After all, Green Jah leff de Harmy a long time now, but tings still does disappear.

A lotta tings (and people) also disappear when de Pee-N-Cee was in power. That was because de Pee-N-Cee had de power to mek tings disappear. Green Jah was de man around since then. In fact, in de Pee-N-Cee days, even de money from de Guvament Treasury used to disappear.

Burnt Ham had every body in de dark and dem never used to see when tings disappear. But now it gotta lotta tings comin to light. So tings disappearin in front of people eye and nose. That is whah happen at de Con Gress.

De other day, Green Jah mek people votes and memberhsip cards disappear at Con Gress. Then he mek dem disappear too. De Linden people had to disappear in Linden, and de Plaisance man had to disappear wheh ever he come from. Even de Youth man had to disappear.

But one person Green Jah can’t mek disappear is de Kiss woman. He wish he could kiss she good bye and call it George. But no matter whah Green Jah do, de woman gon re-appear. Oscar de bite man try, but de Kiss woman ain’t no Rodney.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! In fact, it look like Green Jah and Oscar might disappear from the party long before de Kiss woman disappear!

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Green Jah was a big boy in de Harmy

Guyana is a land of plenty tings, but it startin to look like a land of plenty abuse as well. Harding complain bout abuse, then he turn round and abuse some body in GT, plus rob dem same time. He gyal friend abuse some body and she end up inside four walls wid a small grill window in New Amsterdam.

De other day a man in Berbice abuse a lil gyal and get ketch. Now he end up fuh de next 25 years in one of dem same small room wid grill window like Hardin gyal friend. By de time he come outta deh, he gon deeply understand whah is abuse.

Over in de s*ity council, Sober and de Greens abusin one another every day. That is de first place ever call a press conference to show how some body can wine. Old Green he self didn’t know that de other Green and Sober had all dem movements. He ain’t want King Kong fuh Tongue Clerk no more.

A reporter seh when old Green see de movements, he remember young Green right away and smile. No wonder Green like de Mayor-fuh-Life wuk so much, even though he got to buy he own gas. Wid that kinda winin whah goin on in front of Green, he wanna wuk night and day plus whole weekend.

Now, Nutten (Green Jah seh so) complain that Green Jah abuse he. De Linden gyal and all de Linden people also complain how Green Jah abuse dem. Green Jah was, of course, a big boy in de Harmy and every body know whah dem big boys does do lil boys in deh. So abuse ain’t new to de Leader.

Oscar de bite man does look and learn from Green Jah, so he try to abuse de gyal from Linden. But de Linden gyal don’t tek last lick, so she lick back de bite man. Oscar admit he never know a lick could be as hard as a bite.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Now that he know, Oscar gon lick more and bite less!

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Can’t teach old dog new tricks

When a dog start to suck egg, it does always suck egg. No matter whah remedy yuh try, it gone never stop suck egg. That is why old people seh old habits does die hard and that yuh can’t teach a old dog new tricks.

It got nuff people in de Pee-N-C/Hard who stay like dem dog whah does suck egg. And nuff a dem been suckin egg from a long time now. So now in dem old age dem can’t stop, plus yuh can’t teach dem new tings because dem set in dem wicked ways.

Over de weekend, de Pee-N-C/Hard was playin hard ball wid dem own people from Linden and somebody from Plaisance who Green Jah call Nutten. Well, among Green Jah, Will Yams and Oscar de bite man, de Linden people seh dem not sure who could tell de best lie.

Accordin to one of de Lindeners, one of dem plannin de lies, de other tellin the lies, and de last one repeatin de lies. Then all three of dem does turn round and defend de lies. That is why a reporter seh instead of a folk song, dem shoulda bring Lord Nelson to sing “King Liar” at de Congress.

But no body ain’t got no doubts about who can shoot and who can rig elections. After all, Green Jah deh in this riggin business a long time now, and as a old soldier he had to be good shoot man. But it look like he train he own body guard to shoot like he now, and he got people doin de riggin fuh he.

De man who Green Jah call Nutten ain’t seh nutten at first, but he eventually tell some of de reporters that he gon never join de Pee-P-P, but he considerin de KFC. Well, if he never hear bout jumpin from de fryin pan into de fire, he gon definitely feel it.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! And what better place to feel de heat of a fryin pan as against de real fire, but the de KFC!

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Rum Jhaat gettin motion

One month ago Rum Jhaat and de KFC talk bout a no-confidence motion against de Guvament. Long ago, no body ever had any kinda confidence in Rum Jhaat, so now he tryin to tek out spite. Before that he was tinkin bout it fuh a whole year.

Rum Jhaat tell Nagga Man bout de same no-confidence motion. Well, both of dem get suspicious because dem ain’t got no confidence in one another. So that was a whole year of knockin glass just to tink and talk bout de motion.

Plus it had a lotta motion by de 7-owe-4 place whenever dem was talkin bout de motion. All de motion was into 7-owe-4 but it hardly had any motion outta 7-owe-4. So was a lotta commotion just fuh that one motion. Usually when dem done every night, none of dem had any motion.

Both of dem had a lotta de other kinda motion too. And nutten couldn’t help dem. Mainly because dem had no confidence in dem own motion. If any ting, de motion was only goin in one speed and one direction. Backward. After all, any ting to do wid back, just check out Rum Jhaat and Nagga Man.

So after one year, up to this day is only now Rum Jhaat draft de motion. At least that is whah he seh. But he still ain’t show any body de motion. And this is a man who wanna run (down?) de country and he tek one year fuh do a motion. Is no wonder de Pee-P-P had put he on a fast motion outta de party.

Well, not too long ago he had run and tell Green Jah bout de motion. But was only when he talk to Green Jah he realise that de old soldier and he party was in slow motion. And now Green Jah gon have to deal wid a lotta commotion.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! So in de end, Rum Jhaat can get confidence in he own motion, and Green Jah dealin with sheer demotion and promotion!

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Cling Tongue clingin like leech

Some people does deh every where yuh go. As old people seh, dem is people who just deh bout. Dem deh bout every where wid every body. Yuh go into a church, yuh see dem. Yuh go into a bar, yuh see dem. Yuh go to a funeral, yuh see dem. Yuh go to a wedding, yuh see dem. Yuh look in a photo, yuh see dem (in front too).

In GT, every where yuh go, yuh see Cling Tongue. That is because Cling Tongue like to cling to nuff tings and nuff people. A reporter tell another reporter that is not only he tongue does cling. De reporter seh Cling Tongue cling to a lil gyal so strong that not even a power saw can separate them.

Nuff people try to separate dem but dem ain’t succeed. De lil gyal she self try but she ain’t succeed either. That is because Cling Tongue can cling strong to any ting. When he cling on to some ting, is like how leech does cling on to dem prey and suck dem blood. Similar to how a parasite does tek and give back nutten in return.

Cling Tongue like to pose fuh photo and he like to deh in front. In all dem photos whah he deh in he clingin to some body. Now he clingin to de US and he clingin to de young people. Plus Cling Tongue like to mek headlines, but he still complain when he name appear in a headline de other day.

A reporter ask Cling Tongue some questions bout these same tings and Cling Tongue had a answer fuh every ting. Yet when Cling Tongue read de same answers whah he give, he get vex and write a letter to complain bout de same tings whah he seh.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! But one ting whah Cling Tongue friken to seh is whether he clingin to Green Jah or to Rum Jhaat. Cling Tongue just waitin fuh de right time and de right ting to cling to some ting.

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At least one MP can tek a good kick

De World Cup football done and gone, and Germany gone home wid a trophy of sheer gold. But it got some people still playin football in Guyana. At least in dem mind dem seem to tink that dem can play some ting like football. So dem talkin a lot bout kickin a ball and bout how some body ball in some body court.

But is a different kinda ball dem talkin bout and is a different kinda gold also. It got white ball and red ball from Banks and DDL and it got El Dorado gold. That had to be whah de Nagga Man was talkin bout de other day when he tell a reporter he gon kick a ball to de Guvament in Parliament.

After all, when it come to kickin, de only ting de Nagga Man can do is tek a good kick and feel a high kick, especially when he tekkin white or red balls or a piece of gold. But since de Prezzie challenge he and he balls pardna Rum Jhaat, dem got ‘no confidence’ to kick de ball whah de Nagga Man was talkin bout.

And if yuh ask de Nagga Man to liff up he foot, he gon down he head and walk way. In any case, one of Nagga Man head already down fuh good, and neither he foot nor any ting else he got can liff up. He been to see a lotta doctors, but no doctor don’t bring back de dead.

One of Nagga Man pardna lawyers seh de other day that de Nagga Man does even bring he white and red balls to de court. And sometimes he does choose to bring de gold. Either way he does get a good kick.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! And it does be more kicks when de Nagga Man fall down by de lil shop not too far from wheh he live. Plus when he reach home. That is, whenever he reach home!

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Rum Jhaat gon never visit Jamaica

De Guvament in Jamaica decide that dem gon put a stop to alcohol abuse. All de rum drinkin and bad behaviour must done, is basically whah de Guvament want. In fact, according to de news, de Jamaica Guvament want to stop de abuse of hard liquor especially, because dem seh it not good fuh people health and safety.

Well, if that news was true, then de Jamaica Guvament need to teach de Guyana Guvament how to handle tings like these. It gotta lotta alcohol abuse goin on right hey in Guyana and de Guvament ain’t doin nutten bout any ting.

Taxi drivers drivin drunk. Mini bus drivers driving drunk. Even de pullice and ex-pullice drivin drunk, knockin down people and killin dem. Then dem does drive away, throw out all de beer bottles from the car, and come back to de scene. At least one get he share of licks from people in Mahaicony de other day fuh de same nonsense.

Plus MPs drivin drunk and admittin publicly that dem does give pullice men bribes to keep dem quiet. Some MPs even goin to Parliament drunk. So imagine any law to stop alcohol abuse in Guyana gon have to happen wid a debate among a setta drunk men who abusin hard liquor and hardly a day does past dem.

As fuh Rum Jhaat, he read de article and decide that he ain’t ever goin to Jamaica, even if is billion dollar client he get to represent in court. Now he gettin worried because he was wonderin whether or not de entire Caricom might decide to do de same ting in all de Caricom countries.

Right away Rum Jhaat seh if that ever happen, he gon tek Caricom to court and then move a no-confidence motion against Caricom in Parliament. That is how hard Rum Jhaat gon fight to stop de abuse of hard liquor in Guyana.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! After all, Rum Jhaat does tek a lotta hard liquor very hard and it gon be hard ting now fuh he to stop!

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People disownin dem own people

People disownin people like crazy nowadays. Even yuh own people disownin yuh. It don’ matter wheh yuh come from. Or who yuh belong to. Or who is yuh mummah and yuh daady. Or how much money yuh got. Or wheh yuh live. Or who yuh married to.

Not even wheh yuh wukkin does wuk to help yuh out nowadays. Because is every body dem pullice men does ask fuh a raise. And de bigger de wuk place, de bigger de raise. That was a thing of de past when yuh coulda turn up and people woulda know yuh right away and treat yuh nice. And pullice woulda give yuh a break instead of breakin yuh down fuh a raise.

De Mayor-fuh-Life fuh instance used to turn up and every body used to fall down at he feet. Especially when he was Pee-M under de Pee-N-C, although that was a lotta pee. Now de Mayor-fuh-Life is de one who fallin down instead.

In fact, de Sober woman seh every ting fuh de Mayor-fuh-Life does fall down nowadays. Plus she not givin he any more free gas to put in he free car fuh any more gallavantin all over de place. Is de same as when yuh cut a fowl wing so it can’t fly. Well, de Mayor-fuh-Life never coulda fly but some ting get cut.

As fuh de disownin problem, Pee-N-C now disown de Kiss woman who had a problem wid Oscar de bite man. If de Kiss woman had only know that Oscar still got teeth, she woulda be more careful wid she kissin and both of dem woulda still be kissin and bitin wid no problems. Now de whole of Linden bitin, and all dem skalliwags in de Pee-N-C fightin.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! And de Trickydadians disown dem own cricket team. Plus de man who cause it was same Tricky Minister who disown all dem people and ‘stuff’ whah he was hidin in a hotel. He thought he had more tricks than de mohawk fella who turn round and trick dem!

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