BY:  Anu Dev

When a pregnant woman eats, her baby eats; when she drinks, her baby drinks; whatever she drinks, her baby drinks. It’s all due to a chemical syncytin which bonds mother and child in mammals. This is how evolution decreed it to be and so it has been for millions of years. If Darwin is to be believed, organisms with features most conducive to survival are the ones that survive. Get it? So clearly, this bond between mother and foetus which ensures the newborn is quite developed has been useful for mankind.

But is it always useful for the baby? Does the bond always help the baby? Yes, maybe a hundred years ago when women didn’t drink ‘even and straight’ with the men – when women still felt uncomfortable to clink beer bottles with their husbands.

But now times have changed. We females are now ‘liberated’. We can now drink what men drink, eat what men eat, do the same jobs men can – we are ‘equal’. But while we were fighting that age-old battle for equal rights etc, no one considered the effects this new “modern” lifestyle for women would have on their unique biological duties – to bear children.

Some may say that that sounds archaic, but hey, come up with a way for men to carry a foetus for nine months and then we can talk. However you slice it or dice it, that’s the way we’re built. So if you want the human race survive 2100, it’s time to admit that the right to bear children falls only on women. Now don’t get your dander up… we’re talking about human survival, right?

But so many of us have lost sight of that – we’ve gotten all caught up in becoming the breadwinners of the home, of being career women, of being high-powered executives – being a mother is so outdated. So passé…

So we worry about who will take care of the child when maternity leave is over? Who is there to guide the child? The one in a million dads who have their work based at home? And we miss a baby’s first word because we were listening to instructions from the boss instead?

But back to this new-found liberation; if all work made Jack a dull boy then Jill also has to play. So it’s okay to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes and be ‘one of the boys’. But do these gals even consider their unborn baby? There are so many cases of babies being born with Foetal Alcohol Syndrome because their moms thought it was okay to go all out at Uncle Bill’s last birthday bash. There are serious and long-lasting consequences when mothers drink or smoke while pregnant. The mother may get off scotch-free (pun intended) but the baby will have to pay the price, every minute of every day of every year. So the next time you feel like taking a drag from a cigarette, maybe remembering that you’re pumping carbon monoxide into your baby’s bloodstream would take the edge off that nicotine rush.

So mothers-to-be (liberated or otherwise) think twice before you do anything – after all, you’re in charge of two people now.

“You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.”– Albert Einstein
This Tuesday, florists and confectioners will triple or even quadruple their sales as almost everyone rushes to buy last minute Valentines for their loved ones. Whether it’s a simple rose or diamond earrings, almost everyone does something to show the special people in their life how much they care on February 14.
But why only on February 14? It’s just a date chosen in honour of St Valentine and became associated with romantic love in the 14th century. It could’ve been any other date or better yet, it doesn’t just have to be one date. Why can’t people show their love for the importance in their lives every day? Or rather, why don’t they? The persons you love should be important enough to you that you would have no problem with showing them that you love them every day – whether you want to show your love by just saying ‘I love you’ or by showering them with gifts, it’s your prerogative.
Be spontaneous, show your love everyday in all of the little ways that count much, much more than an elaborate show on Valentine’s Day.
And love itself comes in so many, many forms – you could love your mom, your dad, brother, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend – and all of the other people in your life. Why should only romantic love be exalted? But how many people consider all of those other people on Valentine’s Day? And if everyone did, there probably wouldn’t be enough flowers in the world to gift all of those people – so how are you going to show your love to all of them on Valentine’s Day? You don’t have to – not if you showed them that you love them on the other 364 days of the calendar.
And that’s exactly what you should be doing. Let the people you care about always know and feel that you care about them. Sure, people aren’t perfect and someone is sure to step on your toes over time. But you don’t need to hold a grudge or put them in the doghouse – remember that you love them.
And I’m not saying you need to go around loving everyone because no matter how many pink sunglasses we wear, we can’t fool ourselves that the world is as rosy as we would like it to be. There are always people who we will find decidedly unlovable, and that’s okay. You don’t need to love everyone and show everyone that you love them – that might be spreading yourself too thin (not to mention, you also losing the plot of love being special and important).
You at least ought to show the important people in your life, the ones you care deeply about that you love them because hey, if you love them that much, that shouldn’t be much of a problem – right?
But okay, even though you should be showing your love every day, it is a nice gesture to go that extra mile on Valentine’s Day. All hope isn’t lost, there’s still a lot of love left in the world.
So where’s the love at? It’s everywhere – we just need to show it a bit more (and see, I didn’t even once mention the crass commercialisation and commodification of love!)

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.”

– Thomas Merton

School – it’s a powerful word, no doubt about it. Also an intimidating word, with the capacity to strike terror in the hearts of even the stoutest of youthful hearts. But, for some, the word means light, joy and happiness (no. Not for parents only) and a place where some of your best memories are made.

However, seeing as we don’t have a choice about going to school, we might as well make the experience positive and one to be proud of. Something we hopefully won’t cringe about when remembering it twenty years down the line. Most intriguingly, focusing on just the books isn’t all there is to school.

At Queens College, club life is an integral part of our school experience, er… no, not “club” club life – there’s no active Queens College Night Club!  I mean clubs like the Environmental Club, Interact Club, Hindu Society, Islamic Society and all of the other religious societies. All of this, of course, is in addition to our more traditional athletic House activities.

Being a part of different clubs and taking part in all of their activities really add something to school-life. And when we look back at the dusty pictures 10 years from now, we’ll have so many more memories to laugh and reminisce over rather than wince and grimace.

But apart from the creation of future nostalgia, taking part in different events, or being placed into leadership capacities in clubs really helps one to grow and mature. With all the talks and exhortations, nothing beats hands-on experience in actually working with a diverse group of individuals to accomplish one project or another.  And then, when you’re ready to leave school and step out into the real world, it wouldn’t be such a harsh awakening since you would’ve been accustomed to making decisions and handling responsibility.

Plus, if you’re not in it just for the challenge of being a part of something new and exciting; think about the pragmatic benefit – it’ll look great on your résumé.  Getting into a top college after high school doesn’t just call for good grades – you need to be involved in co-curricular activities as well.

And even in the unlikely event you can’t find a club that appeals to your interests in you school – you could always try to raise support and awareness about issues that interest you and launch a new club. Right now, at Queens, the Literary Club is being revived along with other clubs that were previously defunct. Now every child can find their own niche in the world of co-curricular activities.

And even out of school – lots of villages have youth-groups that organise events to raise awareness about issues or to just simply have fun as a community. It’s always fulfilling to be a part of such groups. So get out there and be a part of something new! Whether you decide to plant a tree or read Tulsidas or Shakespeare or raise money for charity make sure you share it with a group. Yes Facebook is OK, but the personal interactions of a club are the best!

Anuradha Dev

“History teaches everything including the future.” – Lamartine

In my fifth form Caribbean History class, there were only 13  other students: the subject was optional, you see. And I wondered why? Was history such a waste of our little grey brain cells.

I mean lots of people have the notion that you have to move on from your past completely in order to have a future. But that idea completely disregards the point we are our past: we are, in a word, our consummated past. And this is not just the past of our own short lives, but the past that has been transmitted to us. Animals have instinct to guide them; we have our past.

To move forward in life, we forget our past at our grave peril. It’s as simple as not forgetting that fire burns and as complex as not forgetting that all our institutions in the Caribbean came out of an authoritarian past. The omnipresent violence in our domestic relations is not by accident.

 Not to learn from our past mistakes is to guarantee that we repeat them. Caribbean history can reveal mistakes and impediments bequeathed from our past that must be transcended if we are to move forward.

I look at my own religion of Hinduism through the lens of Caribbean history, for instance, and understand that while it was never a congregational institution in India, it had to become one here due to the pressures of indentureship. The mandir was the only place we could gather; Sunday was the only time we were free to do so. The nuclear family became standard even though the extended one was the norm in India: living in the single rooms of the logies guaranteed that. And so on.

History also helps provide identity and national pride, and this is probably one of the best reasons for learning the history of your country. History shows how families, countries, laws and institutions are formed, how they evolved and why certain ones have survived while others ‘bit the dust’. If a nation is just defined by its present – how shallow is that? There’s so much our country has survived and suffered through and yet we’re still afloat. We need to be aware of our past. We need to be aware of our heroes, of the adversities we overcame.

But even at the personal level, people shouldn’t try to forget certain events of their past. Your past makes you who you are today. You don’t have to forget the mistakes of your past – you have to own the mistakes – you have to own your past and make it something you can learn from. Make it something that has a special meaning for you.

Caribbean history also gives us a better perspective on life and the way the world is run. I’ll never forget how fifth form was like a series of continuous epiphanies when I studied different historical epochs and events. The “U.S. in the Caribbean”, for instance, was quite an eye opener.

I realised, that everything, every decision countries, people, leaders make are all deeply rooted in some event of their past – their ideas and ideals are all shaped by their past. No matter how you try to escape it, your past is always with you – the best thing you can do is shape it into something we can be proud of.

What was it that Faulkner said? The past is never dead; it’s not even past.

Anuradha Dev

Grief:  it’s natural, everyone grieves – for a lost pet, for a bad grade, but there are moments and events that cause you to grieve so acutely and so painfully, all other instances pale in comparison. One such moment was the passing of Anand Ramdeo.

He died a hero’s death. Anand was a hero – no doubt about it. He acted so selflessly by saving his niece’s life that he lost his own. It makes you pause and consider – in a world where everyone is so caught up in their own life, where the individual is placed first and others second, how many would have been selfless enough to do what he did.

Some scientists say we have a ‘selflessness’ gene. But how many would have been willing to put someone’s life before their own? Anand’s exemplary and singular act reminded us all about those essential traits like selflessness and altruism that make social life possible. And most of all, Anand has shown us that there are still heroes in this world.

The unexpected passing of one so young should give one pause. So young and so full of life, Anand, an avid cricket player was brilliant, both in academics and in sports. It seems cruel and unfair that he had to go so very soon. We are driven to ask, ‘Why?’

 If a child so worthy could go so young, what about those whose characters are somewhat tainted? How much time do we have left? How much time do our loved ones have left?

It’s incidents like these that wake people up to the reality that is death is inevitable. The best we can do is live life to the fullest. Treat our friends and family lovingly. Don’t become estranged from your family, because when you finally realise what you’re missing, it may be too late. Live as Anand lived, with a firm sense of togetherness and love for his friends and family.

As our principal informed us at Tuesday’s General Assembly, the last words Anand spoke to her were “’We are a family’”. Truer words were never spoken before. The sense that we are a Queen’s College family is not something everyone realises but at 13-years-old, young Anand had already apprehended  that profound truth.

Anand was a person who exemplified many of the qualities that distinguish Queen’s College students. He was a good and loyal friend, a hard worker who valued fair play. His death has affected us all, whether we knew him well or not. And so the Queen’s College family mourns, for we have lost a brother.

As a Hindu, as Anand also was, we believe that such emblematic actions, like his last one, create such good karma that our accumulated bad karma are wiped out and we reach Moksha. Here the immortal atma (soul)  is liberated from the cycle of birth and rebirth and becomes one with the Paramatma (Supreme Soul).

But the name Anand Ramdeo will live on to remind us all that we should all aspire to be what he was: a true hero, an altruist and a brother to us all.

“Of all sound of all bells… most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year.”

− Charles Lamb

Today, we officially kick off the New Year (some albeit nervously given the aforementioned surfeit of disaster movies about 2012) with music and good food, family and friends. Interestingly, though the “New Year” was celebrated more than 4000 years ago, in Western cultures it was only celebrated from about 400 years ago (a tad late considering it’s now 2012!). For instance, in India, New Year is celebrated in the Hindu month of Chaithra (Mid April) and it’s been observed for more than 5100 years – of the present Kali Yuga.
In fact, the current date celebrated as “New Year’s” Day was chosen in 153 BC by Julius Caesar. If you’re a fan of Roman and Greek mythology, you’ll be interested to know that the month of January was named after the God of Doorways – Janus. He was given two faces – one which looked ahead to see what the new year would bring, and the other looked backward to see what happened during the past year. This is symbolic since you can never move forward if you completely ignore what happened in your past.
There is the caution that “those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them!” I guess in the case of Janus, being ‘two-faced’ wasn’t a bad thing!
There are so many different traditions and superstitions concerning New Year’s Day in every country, it’s impossible to keep track of all of them. From the Dutch tradition of eating a donut (representing the completion of a year’s cycle) for luck or to the Scottish belief that it’s especially lucky if a tall, dark, and handsome man is the first person to enter your house, it’s clear that different cultures have very different ideas about what makes you lucky!
But what is common in all cultures is the fact that the New Year represents a new beginning – a chance to start afresh with new resolutions for the New Year (unfortunately, I’m as guilty as anyone else of conveniently forgetting those resolutions by the next week!).
Of course, we won’t be hoping for only ourselves to change for the better this New Year. We’ll be wishing for other things as well. Maybe for West Indies to become the number one Test team again (please) or maybe they’ll film the next “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie in Guyana – (Jack Sparrow:))?!
New Year’s Eve truly is a magical time – no lie. When we were very young (and still naïve) my father insisted that we be up and outside to see the “Old Year Clouds” move over and be replaced by the “New Year Clouds”.  Do others also have this tradition? There’s a special joy in counting down those last few seconds until you light the fireworks to usher in the New Year. And then the invariable hugs, shouting and general pandemonium as everyone celebrates making it through yet another year – another year full of possibilities and dreams.
But the New Year doesn’t just have to mean moving on, the New Year is also a time to strengthen bonds with those you love, keeping in mind that January 1, 2012 isn’t the end; in fact, it may only the end of the beginning. Happy New Year (or as they say in Greece, “Eutychismenos o kainourgios chromos!”)!

“The most wasted of all days is that in which we have not laughed.” ― Nicolas Chamfort

Anuradha Dev

By now, most of us from school are relishing our free time now that we’ve been ‘sprung free’. Today marks the halfway point of our vacation – which, not so incidentally, the MoE arbitrarily reduced by an entire week.  Children will be rushing to squeeze in as much fun as possible before they have to return to the prison-like wonderful world of school.

And of course, some children (the conscientious ones) would now be considering starting those holiday assignments that their wonderful teachers saw fit to bequeath them. OK. They might pull them out of their school bags and have a look.

Given the weather (we mightn’t have snow and slush here at the Equator, but the rain is doing its best to compensate. The place is chilly, dank, and wet), it seems like the holiday fun will be confined indoors. Everyone could use this as an opportunity to catch up on the latest movies (Sherlock Holmes 2, anyone?) the latest books or, very importantly – to catch up on lost sleep! Working parents would probably depart, their children still curled up under the covers fast asleep, with a tad more than a twinge of envy as they bustle off for another day of work.

The cooks in the family (like me, I point out modestly) will relish this opportunity.  Everyone’s home to be plied (continuous plied) with good food – especially comfort food (chocolate!) to beat the inclement weather. It’ a good thing we don’t all obsess about our weight like our cousins in the U.S.

While like so many Guyanese, I’m not Christian, the Christmas atmosphere is so pervasive that practically everyone’s touched. Families will tighten the bonds that make them “relations” and will perhaps extend olive branches to estranged members or friends. Everyone takes advantage of the general good feeling that only a holiday can give you. I say that’s good.

And since we’re fast approaching a new year, everyone’s probably hoping to wrap up loose ends (maybe, not end the year still mad at Uncle Mukesh?) and perhaps set a good tone for the new year which they’ll want to be as successful or better than 2011.

The holidays are a time of fun, laughter, and reflection (not of worrying if the last Mayan-inspired disaster movie about 2012 will come true!). Some may be out partying, or some might be at home, spending time with their families. For the descendants of slaves and indentured servants, holidays should always be special. We shouldn’t take them for granted.

Families and friends may exchange gifts to show their appreciation of each other, but that’s not really the point.  Yet it’s supposed to be “the season of giving”: yet almost every time you give, you also expect a gift in return. A fair exchange is no robbery, they say.

Why can’t we treat every day as a holiday? Work on building better relationships, doing all the things we’re doing these two weeks. But in the meantime, let’s enjoy that no one has to go to work or school until Wednesday!

Anuradha Dev

Anger probably evolved pretty early on as a survival mechanism for mankind. Cave man sees fellow with deer.
He’s hungry; he gets angry, bops the fellow on the head, and eats the meat.
Hunger over; anger over. It was when he became a social animal that anger
became a problem. One which we’re still trying to handle.

In my tradition, anger is seen as a defect of the mind and one is exhorted to control it from early on. Social
relations trump the individual ego. In fact, youth is seen as a period to learn
control over the body and mind. But as usual the modern world looks at such
views as “traditional” which somehow translates into “not good”.

Kids have to be taught that they are not cave men: they have to learn that their actions and moods have an
impact on those around them. There are consequences to every action you take
when you’re angry (and even when you’re calm).

Today, the American image of the ‘angry, misunderstood teenager’ is dominant. The Americans continue to
universalise their neuroses. It has even reached our social studies text books.
No one understands us teenagers – especially our parents! Ergo, we are always
angry – to be otherwise is blasphemy. We must also sulk.

This is not to say that there are not those raging hormones that cause mood swings – but it’s just that we
can’t just take swings at others. Please. The ‘angry teenager’ image is
misleading. I mean, fine, if American teenagers are misunderstood and angry all
the time, it doesn’t mean that teens all over the world have to be.

Loads of persons usually regret saying something mean or hurtful while in a fit of anger, after the
anger has passed – I know I have. What many people don’t do is wait until they
are less angry to make decisions. Anger clouds the mind and you make bad
decisions.

Anger can be dealt with. Take a deep breath. Take a walk. Lots of people listen to music – it does “soothe
the savage beast” – but not the music that panders to anger. You can also
exercise or sketch to deal with the anger to calm yourself down.

You need to talk to other people, laugh with other people and have fun with other people – including your
parents.  Break the tension so it doesn’t
build up.  When the anger explodes, it’s
more like a squib than Mount Pelée.

However, if you do have recurring anger issues, you need to start trying to figure out why you’re
getting angry all the time, what events or issues get you angry. There should
be counsellors for those from dysfunctional (read modern) homes.

You can’t always be perfect and deal with your anger flawlessly every time, but you can try to deal with it
at least most of the times. Be the master of your anger! And you will be the
master of your destiny.

By Anuradha Dev 

Me I come from a family that can only be described as “cricket tragics”. We’re all besotted by the game, but, with the notable exception of my younger brother, can’t play to save our lives. As any of his teachers at Queen’s can attest, my brother attends school solely to play cricket. His hero is the late, great cricket writer Neville Cardus, who left a game at Old Trafford to get married and returned to view the rest of the match later in the day. We are not told whether his wife was with him.

Cricket has always been one of the things that has unified us as a Caribbean people. Never mind that it’s the source of some of the fiercest arguments you can imagine. And I’m only talking about my family! My mother is a fan of the Indian team and she easily holds off the rest of us – including my father. The existential fear of having no food might have something to do with it.

The West Indies Cricket Team’s performance has always been a topic that fires up fans and sparks heated debates and arguments. Of recent, its performance has added a whole new dimension to the “tragic” part of “cricket tragic”. It has become like the Greek tragedies we learn about in school: everything starts out OK, but we know in the end we’re going to lose.

We might not know exactly how this will happen; sometimes it takes an extraordinary amount of ingenuity to pull off a loss, but we know our boys will do it. So, I ask myself, “Is it the gods or fate or Gibson that has it in for us? Or is it a fatal flaw in our players?”

I don’t know about the gods or fate, but I do suspect that Gibson is a clever plant by the English (for whom he coached before this) to take revenge for all the humiliation we piled on them during our glory days. Which, I mutter darkly, I can only read about.

I don’t think there’s any fatal flaw in our players. I think what’s missing from the present mix to make them not deliver is leadership. Total lack of leadership from the coach and the board. Can anyone witness their petty, sustained, and vindictive vendetta to keep Chris Gayle out of the team and not conclude that these men can never provide leadership in even a game of jacks?

But even with an albatross around their necks, the West Indies have been doing much better than usual – despite losing the last ODI against India. There was no stopping Sehwag in that mood. He is a force of nature. Seeking to justify his place on the Indian team, he seemed to have found a ‘second wind’, and took it out on the WI.

West Indies’ top order has been asked to bat and bat well this series, and they have responded credibly, but with Darren Bravo out of the rest of the series, West Indies is clearly in a muddle – as shown by the last game. Additions to the team like Sunil Narine are heartening to see.

I like the never-say-die attitude of Sammy, but let’s face it: at this level, professionals need to be led by someone who can inspire them with his skills also. Sammy is just a good journeyman. I say fire the board, bring back Gayle, and let’s get back to our winning ways. The “tragic” in cricket tragic doesn’t have to be always tragic!

“You don’t lead by hitting people over the head – that’s
assault, not leadership.” – Dwight D Eisenhower

By Anuradha Dev

Anuradha Dev

With elections in the air, I’ve been thinking about leaders
and leadership. What Shakespeare said about “greatness”, can be paraphrased for
leaders: “Some are born leaders, some achieve leadership and some have
leadership thrust upon them.” Over the years (sixteen! Finally), I’ve
encountered a fair number of leaders from all three backgrounds. Interestingly,
they exemplify quite distinct leadership styles, approaches and qualities.

A good leader is assertive yet approachable. During my early
years at Queens College, I was always impressed with the prefects chosen. I was
awed by these students who were all-rounded and carried themselves with
decorum. These prefects welcomed us to speak to them freely, but by mutual
understanding, there was a boundary we never crossed. Next year, I hope to be a
prefect at Queens College and I hope to be as good a leader as those prefects
inspired me to be, so many years ago.

And that in itself brings out another fundamental trait of
leaders – a true leader inspires others to achieve. And the best leaders do
this not by telling, but by doing. The line from Portia in the Merchant of
Venice has stuck with me: “I can easier teach 20 what were good to be done than
be one of the 20 to follow mine own teaching.”
It can be hard, but to be a good leader, that’s absolutely
necessary.  A good leader can inspire
dedication and great feats from followers, through leadership by example.

Good leaders must show integrity, since a leader can’t lead
if he doesn’t have the trust of followers. Leaders must show honesty,
well-controlled emotions (that’s right, no screaming your head off at your
charges).

Leaders must also have high self-respect and self-esteem.
After all, if a leader doesn’t respect himself /herself, how earth could they
earn the respect of others? Yes, respect is earned, not demanded. Good leaders
should have the respect of their subordinates and also give due respect to
their subordinates.

My tradition emphasises the need to delegate tasks and to
groom new leaders for the future. In my estimation, this is a defining quality
that all leaders should possess. That leader who tries to singlehandedly tackle
all of the objectives and challenges of the group, usually risks biting off
more than they can chew and simultaneously demotivates the rest of the members.

Leaders should also always be conscious that they can’t be
the leader forever – there comes a time to step down and pass on the torch. New
times demand new skills and new visions.

One of the more over-looked qualities a leader should
possess is a sense of humour! Humour can be an effective tool to energise
persons and ease tension. More often than not, leaders choose the too-serious
approach; a balance should be struck. In conclusion don’t believe that I’m only
talking about leaders of countries and corporations. In every endeavour that we
embark on in groups, there is the need for leaders. We never know when
leadership may be thrust upon us; be prepared.