April 20, 2014

Good Friday is a good day to be good

Today is Good Friday, and this is a good day to be good and do good. Every day suppose to be a good day to be good. De Christians does go to church. Dem does remember de Saviour who save dem from wotlessness.

De people on Earth was so bad that de Saviour had to come all de way to Earth to save dem. Dem still didn’t change so he fly back to Heaven. No wonder it hard to find plenty good people nowadays. Dem in de minority like de guvament.

Good people becomin an endangered species. Today, it got some people who gon get save and it got some who gon only wait fuh church time done. That is when lawlessness does start. It gon turn to another ‘rum till I die’ day. De rum shops does cooperate and do business over de gate.

Good Friday or not, some people all year round is sheer badness. It become a parta dem life. Old people does call dem “bad-minded” people. Dem spiteful and jealous of people who better than dem. De Bell Crier ain’t call no name, but some names done come to mind. Just watch de names whah does always apppear in Adumb columns.

De Opposition got a lotta people like that. De budget debate expose all a dem. All who hate de Amerindians get expose. And that is all a dem in de Opposition. De guvament got some too. Dem hate the indigenous people and does treat dem like outcast.

Even when de Amerindians come to GT to protest, Green Jah and Rum Jhaat bring dem own people. Then dem cut de budget and tek bread and butter from de Amerindians. Now Rum Jhaat change he mouth in de Stabber after he done stab the Amerindians.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Well, rum is like bread and butter fuh Rum Jhaat. One of these days some body gon tek way Rum Jhaat rum and he gon know how dem Amerindians feel. Even de Saviour gon have a hard time to save Rum Jhaat soul!

A big, old rat deh in GT, and it ain’t a woman

GT de garbage town ain’t get that name by accident. It ain’t happen overnight either. One problem cause another one. A pile a garbage build up to another one. One plastic bag lead to another one. One block up drain lead to another one.

One bruk down garbage truck end up bein two bruk down garbage truck till dem run outta garbage truck. One councillor thief money and it end up bein more than half a dem thief money. One pavement vendor end up bein de whole pavement full up wid street vendors.

One Treasurer come after another, but all a dem thief whah ever dem see in de Treasury. One Engineer come after another and none a dem see that de S*ity Council buildin fallin down. It tek a man from Grenada to tell dem. One Town Clerk come after another till at last dem find a Sober woman.

But de one and only who come, stay and never allow any body fuh come after he is de Mayor-fuh-Life. Green Ham believe he born to be Mayor and that he gon dead as a Mayor. De Mayor-fuh-Life never wanna see another Mayor.

Green Ham used to tink he born to be de PM fuh this country and that he gon dead as de Prezzi fuh this country. But that turn out to be none of de above, although he still holdin on like how de Mook does hold on to he pumpkin Adumb.

Now de Mayor-fuh-Life turn round and cuss down de Sober woman and call she a rat. But Green Ham fuhget that he can’t live wid out de rat. He dead in he boots, as old people seh. Now he beggin fuh de same rat.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! But talkin bout rat, that is a creature whah doe live in garbage. And since Green Ham turn Mayor-fuh-Life, garbage tek over GT. So de biggest rat in town musbe de Mayor-fuh-Life. Talk bout puttin yuh kaka pun some body in fronta dem face!

Rohee had to put Green Jah in he place

Every time some ting bad happen, is then some body does suddenly get a bright idea. Usually is dem politicians, and especially when dem deh in Parliament. None a dem does tink of any ting to prevent whah could happen. Every body does react after de fact.

One man get kidnap and Green Jah wanna get a special unit to handle kidnappin. This is a old soldier who ain’t even know a unit done deh in place. Rohee had to put Green Jah in he place. Only God in heaven know how a man like this could wanna be de Prezzi.

Harding seh de police rape he wid a baton. Only God in heaven know how that coulda happen. Musbe de baton was small or de other ting was big. And NoGel Hughly still ain’t produce de medical from Jamaica. When de story buss out, Green Jah call fuh commission of inquiry.

Green Jah call fuh another inquiry over some kinda crime spree. But Green Jah limit de time to a certain period. Green Jah musbe smart fuh some people some of de time, but he ain’t smart fuh all people all de time. Only God in heaven know why Green Jah wanna limit de time.

De problem is that Green Jah only want inquiry whah suit he. But every time he realise that de commission gon expose he party wotlessness, he does back off quick. De Linden Commission of Inquiry was one example.

Green Jah and he people call fuh it and dem bawl fuh it till dem get it. Dem even choose de people who dem want fuh it. When Green Jah realise that de findins expose he and he party, dem start to back out. Only God in heaven know whah dem had expect to find out when dem know dem was wrong.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! De same ting happen wid de Rodney inquiry. Green Jah name might get call. So he ain’t want de inquiry no more. But who de cap fit gon have to wear it.

Linden gettin pole from Green Jah

Pollin goin on in India right now. Pollin in India does tek a whole five weeks fuh 814 million people. That’s a whole lotta pollin. And 100 million people pollin fuh de first time. That’s a whole lotta people who never get a chance to poll.

De last pollin in Guyana was 2011 and it got a next couple a years before pollin start again. But in de meantime, some people gettin sheer pole before de time reach fuh that poll. De Naga Man and Hard Mouth try to pole de sugar workers, but de workers come from Berbice till to GT to pole dem back. De Naga Man badly want de sugar workers poll.

Linden people gettin sheer pole from Green Jah and de whole a de Pee-N-C, and de people ain’t even know it. Fuh any body not to even know when dem getting pole mean that dem been gettin pole from a long time. And who to blame but Green Jah, Green Bridge and de rest.

Right now Adumb tekkin sheer pole from de Boss Man because de Boss Man wanna look good and sound good to try out de next poll. Even Sleepin Tom look like he tekkin pole from de Boss Man. Last year, he had to call Boss Man de Man of de Year before he get pay fuh Christmas. That sound like a whole year with de Boss Man pole.

Adumb was bare face de other day and seh he never tek pole from Burnt Ham and de Heights Man, and that he was a professional when he was at de guvament news paper. Adumb even blame he former Pee-N-C pardna Nasty Mento fuh tekkin pole pun de Marriott.

It look like Adumb had to be gettin pole when he mek that statement. That mek he a professional wheh tekkin pole concern. He musbe mekkin more pole money than dem people down de road by Church Street.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Well, pole and hole does go together, and every body know by now which part is Adumb.

More actin in de s*ity council, but not pun de garbage

De more a actor can act like he not actin when he actin, is de better de actor he can become. And Guyana got nuff people actin fuh a long time. Some does act like dem good till people find out that is only de actin that good.

De biggest setta actin goin on right in de House. De Opposition actin like dem is de guvament. And de Speaker actin like he bigger than de Constitution. Green Jah actin like he is de Prezzi and Green Bridge actin like de Finance Minister, which gon never happen again in this country.

Some people does end up actin fuh dem whole life and only when dem ready to retire dem does get a chance to stop actin. Brum Hell was one a dem. De Hen was another one. But de Chancellor and de CJ look like dem gon act all dem life just because Green Jah actin up every time de subject come up.

Green Ham does be actin like if he is a good mayor, but he still not a good actor and he still not a good mayor. De other Green does be actin like she does wuk hard. But that woman does hardly wuk, and that ain’t no actin.

Roy Stone does be actin as if he enjoyin de Pee-R-O wuk. But is only de other day people realise that he don’t like de Pee-R-O wuk. He like some body else wuk, so he file a lawsuit after he find out that he was second best, although he tink he is de best. But not even de court can mek he de best.

Then de guvament seh dem didn’t want Carol Sober to be actin, so dem mek she stop actin. Now de CJ gone and mek she have to start actin again. That is more actin in de s*ity council. Just that nobody still ain’t actin pun de garbage.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! De Nagga Man was actin like if he like dem sugar workers de other day. Well, dem show he good and proper that dem wasn’t actin!

Camp and Quamina junction is like a race course

Guyana is a free country. But bein a free country ain’t mean that every ting is a free fuh all and that any body can do any ting dem wanna do. Nuff people does behave like that though.

When yuh look at somma dem taxi and mini bus drivers drive yuh does tink dem own de road, and nuff a dem don’t even own de car or de mini bus whah dem drivin. That is why dem does drive de vehicles like that. Dem ain’t own nutten.

Right hey in fronta de Bell Crier eye pun Camp and Quamina Street is like a daily Formula One race course. Just yesterday a innocent man and he daughter end up in de hospital with de kinda speedin that does go on. Is a pity nutten don’t ever happen to de drivers.

Is funny how de traffic pullice never find de time to come at this junction. But dem does find dem selves at all de junctions whah already got traffic lights instead. And some times four a dem does find dem selves at one junction.

Every mornin, midday and afternoon, dem flockin only dem Camp Street junctions which got traffic lights that wukkin good. De Bell Crier not sure if is de gaffin or de traffic whah does mek dem flock together like that.

It got two a dem does be standin up doin nutten by de old funeral parlour near Camp and Lamaha. Is no wonder dem choose deh because dem always lookin like walkin dead. It musbe that dem countin the amounta vehicles whah dem can collect a small piece from.

Just that nowadays dem pullice small piece don’t be small any more since guvament bring out de new greenies. That is when dem eyes does light up. Any ting other than a greenie is a whitey in de form of a ticket.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Well, nobody wishin de pullice bad, but de Bell Crier always wanna know how come dem don’t ever get knock down, even when dem in plain clothes!

War goin on all over like Bob Marley seh

This country is one people, one nation and one destiny. One fuh all and all fuh one is whah old people does seh. But that ain’t happenin at all these days. Some body always at war with some body and as Bob Marley seh every where is war.

De Opposition at war wid de Guvament over de budget. Every day is a war in Parliament. De other day Mannish Chand been at war wid de Sharma Man. Some body seh dem still at war because he tink de Minister was accusin he of doin some ting whah he know he cyan’t even do.

A setta men pass de other day in a minibus and start a war wid de people dem by de Cathedral. Dem is people who does never be at war wid any body. All de people does do is spread de love as one people, one nation and one destiny. And whah better place to choose than near de Cathedral.

Well, Rum Jhaat barely miss gettin caught in de war that night because he had just been deh to spread de love. While he was spreadin de love, de Thunderbolt man was at war wid de whole KFC party. In any case, de KFC party always at war wid some ting or some body. Even Rum Jhaat at war wid No Gel Hughly to see who gon run de party.

Now a man pun de East Coast had a war in he house and light up he self right pun de scene wid kerosene. Same night a woman all de way in de interior start a war wid she own niece over de same man who both a dem want. It must be that de man misunderstand this ‘one people’ ting.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! De Mayor-fuh-Life and de Town Clerk at war. Roy Stone at war wid a Minister because he want de Town Clerk wuk. If de job was Tongue Clerk, Roy Stone woulda get that hands down because every ting pun Roy Stone does be down!

De Greens in GT don’t like hard wuk

Some people gettin life easy and some people gettin life hard. It got people who does wuk hard fuh a small livin and it got other people who does hardly wuk fuh a big livin. But big livin or small livin, some people like all de livin with no kinda wuk at all.

De public servants is one setta people who don’t like any hard wuk, but dem like to live big. That was since in Burnt Ham days, but although Burnt Ham dead and gone, dem public servants ways ain’t dead and gone no way.

It start wid dem Em-Pees who gettin big livin fuh little or no wuk. De budget debate does happen at de right time of de day when mosta dem ready fuh tek dem afternoon siesta. But somma dem does tek some damn long siestas and does only wake up when is time fuh eat, talk or bang pun de table.

And wid that amounta sleepin whah does go on in Parliament, dem MPs musbe involved in a lotta bangin when dem should be sleepin, which explain de real reason why dem does be so sleepy when dem should be awake.

Rum Jhaat might wake up when is time fuh use he scissors. Slypaul wake up and resign. Mannish Chand wake up and bawl fuh some ting, but Slypaul seh wasn’t he. De Speaker does nod off one and two time too. Last time he wake up he fuhget that he had ban Mannish Chand from talkin.

Although she not a Em-Pee, another big one who gettin away wid big livin and no wuk is de Green Woman at de s*ity council. She definitely tek after she boss-fuh-life who is another big-livin not-wukkin Guyanese.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Well, de Green Woman finally speak she mind and seh GT de garbage town don’t need a cleanup, although every body who pass thru GT gon seh de opposite. But de Green Woman don’t like no hard wuk. And de Green Man is de same.

Green Jah and Rum Jhaat don’t stand up fuh no body

A Short Man man get vex one night in Parliament and decide fuh stand down because no body ain’t stand up fuh he. He try to get hard wid Mannish Chand, but he couldn’ta stand up fuh he self. De man so short, that even when he try to stand up fuh he self, Mannish Chand couldn’t a see, hear or feel he.

Green Jah seh when people stand up fuh Short Man, he does look more short, so people does still can’t see he. But FLAPNU got plenty people who can’t stand up fuh dem self, much less stand up fuh other people.

Green Bridge got problems standin up, just like Green Jah and Short Man. Short Man father See-Hen woulda stand up better than he even in he old age. Yuh woulda just had to pass round by one a dem school, give he a sun shades, and he woulda see all dem Hens.

People in de FLAPNU seh Green Jah don’t stand up fuh no body these days. So de Short Man ain’t alone. De old soldier runnin all over de country to see how good he can stand up. But nutten he try ain’t wukkin.

Green Jah finally decide to check how he poll can stand up by callin other people name. But he realise that other people poll standin up higher. Bis Ram had done tell every body that Jagdeo and Ramotar standin up higher than Green Jah and Green Bridge.

Even when Green Jah join he poll wid other people poll, it ain’t standin up enough. De last time Green Jah and Poop Narine join up dem poll, it still wasn’t high like Ramotar and Big Sam poll.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! Green Jah now tinkin bout joinin wid Rum Jhaat poll. But when a You-G man do de test, Rum Jhaat and Green Jah poll still ain’t match Jagdeo and Ramotar. So Green Jah and Rum Jhaat got big problems wid dem poll, especially when dem have to stand up fuh people!

De Mayor-fuh-Life want another term

Day in and day out certain people still frettin bout Jagdeo and another term as Prezzi. Anyhow dem twist and turn, it botherin dem. It deh pun dem mind. Dem can’t help it. De people want it and dem don’t want it. That is whah botherin dem. De people want Ramotar too. And that botherin dem too.

But de former Prezzi done seh he don’t want a third term. And no matter how much de man tell dem de same thing over and over, dem ain’t listenin. Adumb knees still bucklin, de Mook gettin jittery, Rum Jhaat gettin bassidy, and Lalloo start stammerin.

If any body cut Nagga Man, dem ain’t gon find blood because he gettin cold feet. And that cold feet ain’t come from de ice in dem glasses whah he does hold on to until dem empty to the last drop. Green Jah runnin helter skelter and Hard Mouth get soft till he lips tremblin. Now Sly Paul resign and another Em-P get sick.

So is sheer confusion in de camp. Not even Green Jah accustom to dem kinda camp. De more Jagdeo keep quiet, is de more dem bawlin. Old people seh silence is golden, but right now Jagdeo silence is like a hammer pun some people head. Even de Guvament Hammer Man hammer don’t knock so hard.

De only man who ain’t worryin bout another term is de Mayor-fuh-Life Green Ham. He done got that lock down. After all Green Ham is de Mayor-fuh-Life till he dead. He ain’t kay if is a third term or fourth term. He want de whole term plus all de terms.

De Mayor-fuh-Life ain’t kay fuh de Guvament money to clean up GT de garbage town. He seh he don’t want de Guvament money. He just want another term. De Mayor-fuh-Life ain’t kay fuh Sooba, he just want another term.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling…friend tell friend…mattie tell mattie! De Mayor-fuh-Life ain’t even kay bout dem people at Waterloo Street and de other set down by a market who ain’t pay dem taxes. De Mayor-fuh-Life just want another term no matter de terms!