Satiricus was in awe of his friend Alfred. Well… if the truth be told, Alfred wasn’t REALLY his friend… like a “buddy” or anything. But nowadays with people “friending” people in Timbuktu (or wherever) they’ve never seen or likely to see in the flesh in this lifetime, Satiricus figured, “What the heck?” He DID know Alfred since they were in short pants in “Big ABC” – which they now call “Nursery”. Kinda like how Nagga Man knew Pressie back in Whimpy Primary School. However, Alfred’s knees weren’t as dimpled as Nagga Man described Pressie’s.
Alfred had been a big time “suck-up”. He was always finking on the young Sato, who even back then figured out he wasn’t the brightest bulb in Big ABC. Alfred would sidle up to Miss Baghevems and whisper as to how Sato was copying from Pearly. Young Satiricus was embarrassed… he did have such a crush on Miss Baghevems!
A suck-up then and a suck-up now. And Satiricus had discovered this made Alfred eminently qualified to be a local politician. As a youth-man Alfred became a member of the Pee-an-See. He used to rush to climb his grandmother’s coconut tree to pick “water coconuts” whenever the Pee-an-See honchos visited from GT.
When the PPCEE got in, Alfred had become married by then and started the tradition of cooking Duck curry whenever the honchos came around. He became a Councillor on the NDC. Never did a thing for the village but Satiricus heard he cooked a meeeean duck curry! Satiricus never got to taste it… he wasn’t a big honcho of anything. And now that PPCEE was out and KFC was in, Alfred was now a yellow KFC. Still serving up duck curry – but now to the big honchos of the KFC like Rum Jhaat and Nagga Man.
And he was the KFC candidate in the LGE for he and Sato’s village – which was now called a “constituency” in the same NDC where he’d done nothing for 20 years. And this was what had earned Satiricus’ awe. He and his friends would be arguing for hours every night about politics and what was needed for the people and so on at the back street bar. But THEY were never picked to run for “Councillor”.
They figured their problem was they’d never learnt to cook duck curry. But not to worry. Hadn’t Alfred promised at the LGE meeting where three persons had showed up (including his wife and two kids) he would take care of all the problems of the village?
Just like Nagga Man and Rum Jhaat of the KFC had done for the country. Happy Days were here again!