September 28, 2016

The Chatterati

Satiricus is NOT a sucker-upper – but some people had snidely suggested he was. So Satiricus had promised not to discuss for a while the life and times of his two favourite politicians – who were like SURU and DURU. But these two fellows were so quotable, they were a reporter’s wet dream. Not like that infrastructure politician Satiricus discussed earlier in the week. Dull as a doormat, the fella acted as if he were Albert Speer – not realising that made his boss Adolf Hitler.

But it’s not every day in the week a politician turns against the class out of which he emerged. The ties were too strong, the connections too intimate to just tell off people you grew up with and shared all their predilections and foibles. But here it was Rum Jhaat had just fired a withering broadside against “the chattering class”. It was that apocryphal journalistic urban legend: MAN BITES DOG! “How do you not report it,” mumbled Satiricus.

The chattering class was what Rum Jhaat all his life had sought to join. They were also known as the “Chatterati” – a combination of “chatter and literati” which gave a hint as to what gave them their social cachet in setting the tone of public discourse. They were, of course, the opposite of the “hoi polloi” and have been dubbed at various times as “nattering nabobs of negativity”, “all talk and no action”, “WOFS – “waste of effing space”, etc … by their detractors. Of which Rum Jhaat seemed to have been a member.

As Rum Jhaat complained when he was criticised about a new jail, the chattering class believe they have the answers to everything under the sun – and then some. But this omniscience was exactly what the Jhaat had been spouting from the moment he’d founded the KFC party. And the reason why Satiricus saw him as THE leader! Speciality Hospital? Rum Jhaat had the answer. Firing Rodee for Linden? Rum Jhaat had the answer. Procurement Commission? Rum Jhaat had the answer. After 10 years of this, Rum Jhaat had proven he was a dyed-in-the-wool member of the chattering class.

And now he was deriding them? Saying they didnt know what they were talking about? What was going on? Surely it couldn’t be because he was in Government now and HE was responsible for all the things he’d been suggesting needed new answers?

“Nah!” thought Satiricus, “That would make Rum Jhaat a hypocrite – and THAT He never was!”’

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