September 25, 2016

Too ‘fraid of Time

Satiricus was intrigued. He was an avid follower of the letters’ pages and most times that’s where he started his daily reading. Some fellas started at the back page with the Sports, others with the front page and politics. Satiricus wanted to hear “the voice of the people” and he heard it loud and clear on the letters’ pages.
And he was hardly disappointed. Like yesterday when he heard from that Minister fella Patto. Now Patto wasn’t one of your flashier politicians. Quick now!! Can you tell Satiricus if Patto is short or tall? Thin or fat?? “So there!” thought Satiricus with satisfaction.
If the truth be told, Patto was about as exciting to cover as giving updates on grass growing. So he hardly got coverage – which is the kiss of death to an ambitious politician. What’s a Minister to do when no one knows you from a hole in the wall? And you want to build your profile for the next election when your party the KFC’s going the way of the Dodo?
Well, manufacture a controversy! And that’s what Patto tried to do! In his missile…ummm…missive, Patto accused Sato’s newspaper of distorting his words so much he was “afraid” of speaking to them. Now Satiricus as an old newshound didn’t really mind the accusation. He knew that to a politician any publicity was better than no publicity. And Patto’s problem was really NO publicity and he was desperately trying to fix that.
What got Satiricus’ attention was Patto claiming that unlike the Times the other newspapers were paragons of fairness in covering the scene!! “Well really!?!” exclaimed Satiricus, laughing so hard his wife thought was having a coughing fit. “Does Patto really believe, say, the Muckraker’s fair when they persecuted the man who gave the country its first world class hotel, so viciously? Or the Kronic that’s funded by taxpayers’ money to say they should only cover Patto’s Party?
Satiricus didn’t think so. But then, he shrugged. “What’s an anonymous politician to do? Not being noticed is worse than the kiss of death.” And even the prince of death wouldn’t kiss Patto!!

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